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For your information, those who 'wear bangles' are flying aircrafts, designing rockets, heading missile projects, developing vaccines, formulating policies, running businesses, winning medals, climbing mountains and are holding up half of the sky.
Photo by Rohan Solankurkar on Unsplash
“I’m not here wearing bangles to nod at whatever you speak” “I’m not wearing bangles to sit quietly while you exert your dominance” “I’m not wearing bangles to accept defeat in your hands” “I’m not a useless person wearing bangles”
How many times have you come across these lines in your daily lives? In the films, tv serials, in real life – whenever a man has to talk about his capabilities, these sentences are quite common.
My cousin is an educated, well-behaved, ‘broad-minded’ and sensible person. He is a reputed doctor and is known for his wit and wisdom. I admire him for the way he is in his personal and professional life. My sister-in-law too is a doctor and they have a boy child. I always looked up to my cousin and desired to live like him.
One day, during a family get-together, we all were sharing the table at lunch. Too many topics popped up, one slowly leading to the other. My cousin and his brother began to oppose each other on a petty issue and eventually, they began to shoot each other down in flames. Amidst the heated argument, my cousin said “Do you think I’m wearing bangles to dumbly nod to whatever you blabber?”
Now that’s where I ceased to hear the rest of the conversation. In fact, nothing else went into my ears as I didn’t see that coming from a person like him.
Explanations like “It’s not intentionally said or it’s not said targeting a specific person or gender” surfaced immediately. But the question is why are such derogatory statements even considered common or involuntary? Why have they become a part of normal conversations?
“Don’t cry at everything like a woman”, “You feel jealous like a woman”, “Are you wearing bangles to be afraid of everything?” (referring to being a coward) – statements like these have turned into proverbs that everyone use for all intents.
Sometimes I wonder if comparing themselves to women alone can make men appear stronger! Again, this stems from their deep-rooted belief that women are the weaker sex. Man, if you are strong enough in body and mind, prove it by your own example.
For your information, those who ‘wear bangles’ are flying aircrafts, designing rockets, heading missile projects, developing vaccines, formulating policies, running businesses, winning medals, climbing mountains and are holding up half of the sky. And above all, you were raised by those ‘who wear bangles’.
The next time you talk about those ‘wearing bangles’, pause and think what you, who doesn’t ‘wear bangles’ have done exceptionally. I think women should stop approving such kind of statements. The silent acceptance of women, considering it to be ‘a common phrase’ is the primary reason for the spread of such phrases like wildfire.
Everything starts from home. Start showing your sons that sarees, bangles, turmeric, bindis and all those that women wear can’t be depicted as symbols for weakness or inadequacy. Shut down the men in your family when they even ‘involuntarily’ pass derogatory statements of any sort. Things change only when victims get out of line.
The Master's holder in English Literature from the English and Foreign Languages University, Swetha is a Content Producer and an author. Her "Letters to touch the petals of your heart" was published in 2019. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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