How Are Women’s Bangles A Symbol Of ‘Weakness’?

“I’m not here wearing bangles to nod at whatever you speak”
“I’m not wearing bangles to sit quietly while you exert your dominance”
“I’m not wearing bangles to accept defeat in your hands”
“I’m not a useless person wearing bangles”

How many times have you come across these lines in your daily lives? In the films, tv serials, in real life – whenever a man has to talk about his capabilities, these sentences are quite common.

My cousin is an educated, well-behaved, ‘broad-minded’ and sensible person. He is a reputed doctor and is known for his wit and wisdom. I admire him for the way he is in his personal and professional life. My sister-in-law too is a doctor and they have a boy child. I always looked up to my cousin and desired to live like him.

One day, during a family get-together, we all were sharing the table at lunch. Too many topics popped up, one slowly leading to the other. My cousin and his brother began to oppose each other on a petty issue and eventually, they began to shoot each other down in flames. Amidst the heated argument, my cousin said “Do you think I’m wearing bangles to dumbly nod to whatever you blabber?”

Now that’s where I ceased to hear the rest of the conversation. In fact, nothing else went into my ears as I didn’t see that coming from a person like him.

Explanations like “It’s not intentionally said or it’s not said targeting a specific person or gender” surfaced immediately. But the question is why are such derogatory statements even considered common or involuntary? Why have they become a part of normal conversations?

We have normalised these stereotypes about gender so much!

“Don’t cry at everything like a woman”, “You feel jealous like a woman”, “Are you wearing bangles to be afraid of everything?” (referring to being a coward) – statements like these have turned into proverbs that everyone use for all intents.

Sometimes I wonder if comparing themselves to women alone can make men appear stronger! Again, this stems from their deep-rooted belief that women are the weaker sex. Man, if you are strong enough in body and mind, prove it by your own example.

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For your information, those who ‘wear bangles’ are flying aircrafts, designing rockets, heading missile projects, developing vaccines, formulating policies, running businesses, winning medals, climbing mountains and are holding up half of the sky. And above all, you were raised by those ‘who wear bangles’.

The next time you talk about those ‘wearing bangles’, pause and think what you, who doesn’t ‘wear bangles’ have done exceptionally. I think women should stop approving such kind of statements. The silent acceptance of women, considering it to be ‘a common phrase’ is the primary reason for the spread of such phrases like wildfire.

Everything starts from home. Start showing your sons that sarees, bangles, turmeric, bindis and all those that women wear can’t be depicted as symbols for weakness or inadequacy. Shut down the men in your family when they even ‘involuntarily’ pass derogatory statements of any sort. Things change only when victims get out of line.

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