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Normalize being unmarried in the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. We need to cultivate respect in society irrespective of our relationship status.
“Oh my, you’re 39? You should have been married with grown-up kids by this time, but you are unmarried and single”
Well, the shock of others doesn’t shock me any more.
I don’t understand why people see my being single and unmarried as a curse. I am looked down upon as if I am ugly and no one wants to marry me. Not only that, but I am judged as though I am not loveable enough, and something medically is wrong with me.
I am asked the same “why” and it’s not even rhetorical. They – (the you) want answers, like right now, right here from me to their “whys”.
After a few minutes of staring at me, I realize they’re waiting for an answer, I trace back my thoughts. I’m tired of shrugging all the time and saying that it is what it is. It’s time to answer truthfully and bluntly.
“This is how and what the universe gave me in this lifetime, so I’m going to make the best of it.”
I talk about the things I have been doing with my life that are so fulfilling. That’s when I noticed how lucky I am to be proud of where I am. I hope other women like me are proud of their achievements and success, irrespective of their relationship status.
Apart from freedom, I get to spend more time on myself. I discovered my hidden truths and talents, built my career, helped many reach their goals, pursued other dreams and established stronger connections with anyone.
Being unmarried and single after a certain age does not mean I lack anything. Yes, I don’t have a romantic relationship. But that doesn’t equate to me being incomplete.
There’s nothing wrong with not having a male companion. I always tell myself that I was already a complete person the moment I was born.
No one is required to get married at a certain age. It’s not an ultimatum that I or you have to get married by age 21. There are no deadlines for when we would meet our partners.
The idea has come from patriarchy and orthodox thinking society. This is the wrong mindset, and we as women have to unite together to change it.
It is okay and let it be normal to be single and unmarried in the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. We need to cultivate respect in society irrespective of our relationship status. Society must learn how to respect our decision to stay away from relationships and live our lives however we please.
No one has a right to question my choice. No one should be meddling in how I want to live my life or push me to do things which are against my mind and heart. Let me enjoy being myself. This is my life and This is who I am.
I am not in a hurry, despite 40 nearing me. I don’t see any rush because I trust in the divine timing of my life.
Image source: Dario Gaona, free and edited on CanvaPro
Dr. Romila Chitturi, started writing at the age of 13 when most of the people of her age during the 90's had other boring interests in life. She turned Blogger at 20, an Author read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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