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Normalize being unmarried in the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. We need to cultivate respect in society irrespective of our relationship status.
“Oh my, you’re 39? You should have been married with grown-up kids by this time, but you are unmarried and single”
Well, the shock of others doesn’t shock me any more.
I don’t understand why people see my being single and unmarried as a curse. I am looked down upon as if I am ugly and no one wants to marry me. Not only that, but I am judged as though I am not loveable enough, and something medically is wrong with me.
I am asked the same “why” and it’s not even rhetorical. They – (the you) want answers, like right now, right here from me to their “whys”.
After a few minutes of staring at me, I realize they’re waiting for an answer, I trace back my thoughts. I’m tired of shrugging all the time and saying that it is what it is. It’s time to answer truthfully and bluntly.
“This is how and what the universe gave me in this lifetime, so I’m going to make the best of it.”
I talk about the things I have been doing with my life that are so fulfilling. That’s when I noticed how lucky I am to be proud of where I am. I hope other women like me are proud of their achievements and success, irrespective of their relationship status.
Apart from freedom, I get to spend more time on myself. I discovered my hidden truths and talents, built my career, helped many reach their goals, pursued other dreams and established stronger connections with anyone.
Being unmarried and single after a certain age does not mean I lack anything. Yes, I don’t have a romantic relationship. But that doesn’t equate to me being incomplete.
There’s nothing wrong with not having a male companion. I always tell myself that I was already a complete person the moment I was born.
No one is required to get married at a certain age. It’s not an ultimatum that I or you have to get married by age 21. There are no deadlines for when we would meet our partners.
The idea has come from patriarchy and orthodox thinking society. This is the wrong mindset, and we as women have to unite together to change it.
It is okay and let it be normal to be single and unmarried in the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. We need to cultivate respect in society irrespective of our relationship status. Society must learn how to respect our decision to stay away from relationships and live our lives however we please.
No one has a right to question my choice. No one should be meddling in how I want to live my life or push me to do things which are against my mind and heart. Let me enjoy being myself. This is my life and This is who I am.
I am not in a hurry, despite 40 nearing me. I don’t see any rush because I trust in the divine timing of my life.
Image source: Dario Gaona, free and edited on CanvaPro
Dr. Romila Chitturi, started writing at the age of 13 when most of the people of her age during the 90's had other boring interests in life. She turned Blogger at 20, an Author read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Dear Women’s Web Community Member,
You may have wondered at our being on the quieter side during the last couple of months. Thank you for your patience, and we wanted to come back to you with a detailed note on what’s been happening at our end of things.
When we first began Women’s Web, as a blog from one woman’s desk along with a few like-minded souls, little could we have imagined the heights that it would soar to. Over the years, Women’s Web has published over 20000 stories (almost all by women), empowered countless women with the ideas, community and resources to chase their dreams, employed hundreds of women in core and project-based roles, and in the process, emerged as the OG women’s community in India. It has also inspired many others to build communities of a similar nature, all enabling women (and other-underrepresented groups) in their own ways.
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