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In contrast to many men of that age, my husband was overjoyed on being blessed with a girl as his first child, and eagerly learned how to take care of an infant.
During my childhood, I was perplexed whenever my dad explained the reason why I should be independent. He cited that if at all my marriage (which seemed a must) might end in a divorce, I needed to support myself.
Later in life, I understood his viewpoint.
But, what was totally unexpected was how a man (my husband) who was brought up in a patrilineal family and a patriarchal society supported his wife and daughter relentlessly.
As a daughter in law, I was rarely allowed to voice my opinion nor express my likes and dislikes. But my husband was different as he supported me even in changing my profession and later doing a post-graduation in my mid-forties. In contrast to many men of that age, my husband was overjoyed on being blessed with a girl as his first child, and eagerly learned how to take care of an infant.
As our children were growing, I realised that he stressed more on our daughter becoming independent at the earliest. He got both our son and daughter, bicycles, and encouraged them to go to school by cycle. She was encouraged to cycle to run errands or go visit friends. He even asked her to learn riding and driving and get a license.
Also, he was the first one to support her when she said she wanted to study in Delhi. He accompanied her and stayed in Delhi for the admission procedure, despite the objection voiced by all the elders in the family about her staying away.
Quite surprisingly, he was also the first to realise that she was not at all comfortable at the capital and advised her to return.
I thought that men were incapable of understanding the female perspective and ideas, but he proved me wrong several times. However, there have been situations when he overlooks some of our health issues, but with the right explanation, he does understand it.
He has always supported both of us to chase our dreams and excel in all what we do. The only time he gets angry is when we give up on ourselves and shy away from any responsibilities thrust on us. He motivates us in a rather different way as he tells us sarcastically that it would be better to quit than just pull along, which actually makes us do our best. I think I “overcame” two surgeries owing to his bolstering my confidence.
I truly feel that the men should support and encourage women rather than cracking misogynist jokes or insulting them publicly. Moreover, in my experience, the male perspective is different from that of women, and includes factors that as women we might be unaware of, especially if they are homemakers.
The world definitely needs men with broader perspectives and wider thinking for women to move forward and shine. So, I fervently believe that be it, my father or my husband, I have been blessed with strong pillars of support.
Image source: Comstock from Photo Images Free for Canva Pro
Presently working as an English tutor, a dentist by profession, but a writer forever. Love penning down everything I strongly feel about and create a change in mindset, especially among the youth. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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