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There are many, many girls like Seema who are stuck in loveless, abusive marriages; the abuse can be verbal, emotional, physical, financial.
Trigger Warning: This has domestic violence and may be triggering for survivors.
Seema was the quintessential positive, talkative lady in the office.
Every morning Seema came as a breath of fresh air in the office. Her coworkers would share their problems with her, ask for solutions from her, makeup tips from her. She would organize all the important seminars and get-togethers in the office. People would be envious of her charm, energy, and dedication to her work.
In the family gatherings, Seema beti, Seema bhabhi would be the ‘jaan’ of the family. Everyone envied her perfect family life. Only Seema knew that everything that people believed was a facade.
Most mornings, when she would be leaving for her office her husband would either throw the breakfast, yell and abuse her, slap her, or hit her. She would hide the scars of her hands and legs by wearing full-sleeves kurta and chudidar. The red mark on her face would be camouflaged by makeup. Her children would go disturbed to the school every morning. Even her own parents did not know that she was tormented.
Many would ask why didn’t Seema walk out?
The apparently progressive society isn’t still that progressive. The apparently strong parents are still not that strong.
There are many, many girls like Seema who are stuck in loveless, abusive marriages; the abuse can be verbal, emotional, physical, financial. The husband can be the most well-mannered CEO of an organization whom people would label as the ‘perfect’ husband material. Abusers don’t have a particular ‘look’, do they?
In Seema’s case, her husband would threaten to kill her and her children dare she tried to complain against him or try to move out. He had kept the finances under his control. He earned a lot more than Seema, her children studied in an expensive international school. Seema earned almost one-third of what her husband earned. More than money, it was the threat to the life to her children that scared her to take the next step.
She had tried to convey her agony to her parents, but like most Indian parents fearing society her parents pretended not to understand and always asked her to adjust stating that things will get better. But perpetrators never get better, do they?
So, next time you envy a woman, judge her, are rude to her, belittle her, ridicule her; just be a little mindful. You never know that the smiling woman standing next to you might have scars, might have just be been abused physically, might have been yelled at or abused verbally, might be carrying only 100 rupees or lesser in her wallet, might have been asked to “adjust” for the nth time by her parents.
Be a little kind to every woman you meet..she might be hiding both physical and emotional scars…and if you come to know of her reality try to help her.
Image source: a still from the film English Vinglish
I am a travel expert by profession and an avid blogger by passion. Parenting and women's issues are something that are close to my heart and I blog a lot about them. read more...
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Does Ranbir Kapoor expressing his preferences about Alia using lipstick really make him a toxic husband?
Sometime back, a video of Alia Bhatt with Vogue went viral where she shares her go-to make-up routine and her unique way to apply lipstick. It went viral not for the quirkiness but because she said that after applying the lipstick, she “rubs it off” because her then boyfriend and now husband – Ranbir Kapoor likes her natural lip colour and asks her to “wipe it off”, whenever they are out on a date night.
Netizens had gone crazy over this video, calling RK toxic and not respecting AB’s choice to wear makeup. I saw the video a couple of times to understand the reason behind the uproar but I failed to understand it. I read many comments and saw people saying that asking your partner or dictating terms on how they should wear makeup is a major sign to leave the person.
Really?!
Modesty or humility is viewed as the hallmark of a well-brought-up girl, which makes it hard for us to be open to any real compliments without feeling like an imposter.
Why is accepting that compliment so hard?
Colleagues: Have you lost weight? You look good! She (who has spent months doing Keto and weights): It’s the dress that’s making me look thinner!
Guests: Your house is so beautiful and neat! She (who spent the last five hours mopping and polishing): It could be tidier; there is just so much dust.
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