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Parents can do their bit towards a society more respectful of women by joining hands to raise their sons well instead of just lamenting and restricting their daughters.
TW: There is some description of violence against women which could be triggering to a survivor.
When my son was born almost 18 years ago, I was very happy to have a healthy child. I had never seen him as a privilege. I had looked at that little bundle and questioned my abilities about raising him well, and today I can say that my husband and I have.
Is it really so difficult to raise boys who are compassionate, respectful, helpful? No, absolutely not. Then why is there a dearth of good men all around? Why is every third man indulging in domestic violence or verbal abuse? Why are young boys objectifying and disrespecting girls around? Who are those boys/men who ruthlessly rape a girl/woman, chop off her body parts, burn her, thrash her, paralyze her, and eventually leave her to die? Where is the society, the parents, the extended family going wrong?
Let’s face the bitter truth… ours is a son-crazy nation. Pregnant women are blessed by elders (mostly other women) that they may bear sons; there are grand celebrations in many families when a son is born.
Often boys are not disciplined like the girls. They are pampered. The father in families with such mindsets often humiliates and berates the mother and other women. These men and even many women never stop believing and saying that the male gender is superior than the female!
Thus, many boys grow up being abusive, violent, disrespectful towards female gender, and have that feeling of superiority.
My husband and I raised our son in a very simple manner. We inculcated discipline in him, taught him household chores and cooking, instilled the values of compassion, respecting every human irrespective of gender, caste, creed. We have never treated him and our daughter differently. My husband and I have a respectful relationship.
No, we didn’t make any extra efforts to raise a son. Just like we are raising our daughter, we are raising him. Trust me, it’s not difficult at all.
When I see my son inching towards being a good adult, a good citizen, and most importantly a good man, I feel good. I have tried to break the tradition of pampering male children by raising a good son with good values whom anyone would love. When my son shows courtesy to his female classmates, often dropping them off home before coming home himself, it reiterates the fact that girls will be safe with him and treated with respect. If ever he errs, I will be the first one to rectify him.
Instead of just lamenting about what’s happening, if every home raises their sons well, most of the crimes related to women will disappear. Raising an entitled brat will not just make the society unhappy; it will make you, as a parent, unhappy the most.
Raising sons well is not difficult… not at all!
Image source: a still from the film Pink
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I am a travel expert by profession and an avid blogger by passion. Parenting and women's issues are something that are close to my heart and I blog a lot about them. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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As parents, we put a piece of our hearts out into this world and into the custody of the teachers at school and tuition and can only hope and pray that they treat them well.
Trigger Warning: This speaks of physical and emotional violence by teachers, caste based abuse, and contains some graphic details, and may be triggering for survivors.
When I was in Grade 10, I flunked my first preliminary examination in Mathematics. My mother was in a panic. An aunt recommended the Maths classes conducted by the Maths sir she knew personally. It was a much sought-after class, one of those classes that you signed up for when you were in the ninth grade itself back then, all those decades ago. My aunt kindly requested him to take me on in the middle of the term, despite my marks in the subject, and he did so as a favour.
Math had always been a nightmare. In retrospect, I wonder why I was always so terrified of math. I’ve concluded it is because I am a head in the cloud person and the rigor of the step by step process in math made me lose track of what needed to be done before I was halfway through. In today’s world, I would have most probably been diagnosed as attention deficit. Back then we had no such definitions, no such categorisations. Back then we were just bright sparks or dim.
'Sania denied fairy-tale ending: suffers loss in AUS open final' says a news headline. Is this the best we can do? Is it a fitting tribute to one of the finest athletes we have in our country?
Sania Mirza bid an emotional and tearful farewell to her Grand Slam journey as a runner up in the mixed doubles final. Headlines read –
“Sania Mirza breaks down in tears while recalling glorious career after defeat in Grand Slam’
“Sania denied fairy-tale ending: suffers loss in AUS open final”
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