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A woman's first priority is still believed to be taking care of her husband and his family. Her own dreams and career ambitions don't matter.
A woman’s first priority is still believed to be taking care of her husband and his family. Her own dreams and career ambitions don’t matter.
Nisha was a gold medalist with a lot of ambitions for her future. She had worked relentlessly since her childhood to be where she was today. Nisha wanted to be financially independent, strong, help her parents, and secure her future, and be a professionally successful woman.
She had fallen in love with Rakesh, her college classmate during her post-graduation. Both were equally serious about their careers and their relationship. They had to face a few hurdles as it was an intercaste marriage.
Nisha’s would-be father-in-law asked Rakesh, “Why does Nisha need to work after marriage? You are earning quite well. If she works, who will take care of you and later us? Her first priority should be taking care of your food, your clothes, and your necessities. Don’t give her too much freedom.”
Nisha was headstrong and for her, her career was very important. Rakesh also supported her, but her father-in-law always had a grudge.
Isn’t this scenario so common in many Indian households? Most men from the earlier generation barely fetched any water for themselves, forget helping their wives in the household work. Still, a woman’s first priority is believed to be to take care of her husband and his family.
It doesn’t matter that the girl has slogged for her dreams, has career goals, is equally or more intelligent and smart than her husband. Why aren’t most Indian men taught household chores and cooking? Even if they know it, why are they expected to shun these once the wife comes in their lives?
Most Indian women who work outside the house are perennially tired, as they have to manage the home, office, their children and in-laws! Why can’t fit and fine in-laws help the tired and overworked daughter-in-law?
It’s kind of an unsaid rule in many conservative homes that once the bahu comes, the mother-in-law will not enter the kitchen or help! A woman might want to focus on her career and plan for a child at her own will, but the pressure of bearing children is always on the girl! It’s her body and later the entire responsibility of raising the children falls on her, doesn’t she have the right to decide what she wants?
Retired men lead a comfortable life. They watch TV, chat with friends or simply laze around, ordering their wives, who are just as tired and old. These men want their food, tea and even medicines served to them and go ahead and take out their frustrations on their wives by yelling at them.
Aren’t the old women also supposed to rest? Why does the entitled husband forget that his wife has aged too? May be women are supposed to ‘take care of the men’ till the day they die.
Stop mollycoddling the grown-up sons. When he marries, he brings a life partner who will share her life with him. Stop expecting her to be another mother to him or expect her to give up on her dreams and ambitions.
Let the son fetch his own glass of water, put the plate in the sink after meals, iron his own clothes… doable for a human being right?
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Hum Saath Saath Hain
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I am a travel expert by profession and an avid blogger by passion. Parenting and women's issues are something that are close to my heart and I blog a lot about them. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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'Sania denied fairy-tale ending: suffers loss in AUS open final' says a news headline. Is this the best we can do? Is it a fitting tribute to one of the finest athletes we have in our country?
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“Sania Mirza breaks down in tears while recalling glorious career after defeat in Grand Slam’
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As parents, we put a piece of our hearts out into this world and into the custody of the teachers at school and tuition and can only hope and pray that they treat them well.
Trigger Warning: This speaks of physical and emotional violence by teachers, caste based abuse, and contains some graphic details, and may be triggering for survivors.
When I was in Grade 10, I flunked my first preliminary examination in Mathematics. My mother was in a panic. An aunt recommended the Maths classes conducted by the Maths sir she knew personally. It was a much sought-after class, one of those classes that you signed up for when you were in the ninth grade itself back then, all those decades ago. My aunt kindly requested him to take me on in the middle of the term, despite my marks in the subject, and he did so as a favour.
Math had always been a nightmare. In retrospect, I wonder why I was always so terrified of math. I’ve concluded it is because I am a head in the cloud person and the rigor of the step by step process in math made me lose track of what needed to be done before I was halfway through. In today’s world, I would have most probably been diagnosed as attention deficit. Back then we had no such definitions, no such categorisations. Back then we were just bright sparks or dim.
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