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As the country is in a lockdown, several working women are suffering as they are forced to do their office work and household chores too. Time for a change?
The coronavirus has wreaked havoc in everyone’s lives across the globe. But it has created an additional problem for me and a number of others like me. This, in addition to all the existing issues we have!
My problem is that I am a working married woman living in a joint family. The family includes my MIL, one married SIL, her baby, an unmarried SIL and my husband. When the lockdown was announced, it felt like a picnic for others, but it began a never-ending saga of chores for me.
We asked the maid not to come. So the cleaning, cooking, clothes and utensils washing along with all her tasks became a part of my duty. You know why, because bhabhi was working from home!
Oh come on guys! Educated people behaving like this is crazy. Work from home means actually working from home. I cannot just log in and do the other chores.
So now, as soon as I get up, I clean the hall and kitchen, sweep the house, put the clothes in the machine and cook breakfast. And all this needs to be done before 9 am, else my manager will start another problem.
I cannot say anything, as my so-called husband agrees that it is a part of my job profile, being married to him. His sister has been married for over three years and spent the most of it here. She is teaching me that this is how I will become a good wife. And let me tell you, she holds a masters degree in medicine.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is just an example. I am not trying to get any pity from anyone. It is my decision that I am bearing with and I am suffering because of that. What I really want to say it is there is nothing wrong in helping. If everyone shares the chores, it will take lesser time and help you pass the time helping someone else.
Things were okay for the first and second day. But after that situation became worse. These people started saying that they have work. And as soon as the breakfast was cooked, I started getting some silly complaints. “Why don’t you serve hot chappatis when you are at home? We don’t want to eat chappatis from hot case!” or “Why don’t you cook two or three veggies instead of the one, since you are working from home?”
These people don’t understand the difference between work from home and working at home. And you know what’s the worst! I do not get to eat breakfast. The break we take to eat lunch is spent in preparing lunch. During this time, the rest of the family is in front of the TV complaining they are getting bored. “For God’s sake, Help me then.”
Even when I was in office, I had to work long hours because of my job profile. But now, with weaker signals and all communications over video calls, phone calls, emails, tasks take longer. And as soon as it is 6 pm, everyone starts crying for tea. Come on four adults and not one of them can make tea! How did they function before I came here?
I need to set the washing machine, spread the clothes, take them off the rope, fold them and then supply them to each room. If I leave them in the hall or ask them to take it, the clothes will stay where I left them.
Aren’t married women human too? Well, I, for one am. And I want my human rights. Oh corona, I hate you so much! Though I was suffering before, you just ruined my life.
Maybe when I separate from my husband, I would cite corona as the most important reason for the ruining of the marriage. Maybe I should be thankful that corona showed me their true colours. Its not I didn’t know before, I did. But I was able to live with it then, but not anymore.
I would like to conclude by saying that it has been both a blessing and a curse in my life.
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Lunchbox
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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