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If I hadn't been cautious as a teenager I might have forgiven myself, but I was 25 when this happened, and it just makes it harder for me to accept it.
There are times when I end up at the wrong end of things, but that always gives me some food for thought. Today I want to bring one of these for you.
In the 21st century when internet and mobile devices are available to almost everyone who can afford them, especially with the onset of the pandemic when people were limited to their homes, the internet helped many to connect with friends and family. Many used it to bring their business online and prosper.
In such times, there are still people who live in the dark ages. What I mean is a person who has no social media presence. And I don’t just mean Facebook and Instagram or others like these; but no professional accounts either. In today’s time where all professionals have an active linkedIn account that they regularly update, how can a professional not have online presence?
Does it raise a red flag when you find out that your new friend or maybe boy friend, or (as in my case) husband has no social media presence? Well if it doesn’t, it should, because usually that means they are trying to hide from someone, or worse, that they are trying to hide themselves and their lives from you.
I always thought that it was just a personal choice, but five years into my married life, I now know what it means.
I am not saying that every person who doesn’t have social media presence is bad; I am just saying that it should raise some red flags, and you’d better check once or you could end up like me after some time.
After 5 years of marriage and in my 8th month of pregnancy, I found out that he was sleeping with his so-called ‘best friend’, who is also a friend’s wife. There is a 3-year old who he might have fathered, and he and his family had also been trying hard to get rid of me.
I ended up in hospital losing my baby boy, and I am the one being blamed because I couldn’t control my emotions. I ended up paying a heavy price – I didn’t just find that my first love had been cheating on me since the beginning of our marriage, but I also lost my first-born baby.
I just want anyone else who reads this not to suffer the same fate as me. I believe that we can be cautious and avoid certain outcomes of our fate. Okay, there are some things that cannot be changed, but if we keep our ears and eyes open, there are things that could have been avoided. If I had been cautious I would have never thought of having a baby with such a jerk.
Everyone who knows me says that it is a good thing that your baby didn’t survive, what kind of a father would he have had? My answer to that is, it was not my baby’s fault, he didn’t deserve such a fate.
I just want to end this with, just be cautious, keep your eyes and ears open when making new friends or getting into relationships. If I hadn’t been cautious as a teenager I might have forgiven myself, but I was 25 when this happened, and it just makes it harder for me to accept it. Stay safe!
Image source: a still from the short film Detour
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If you want to get back to work after a break, here’s the ultimate guide to return to work programs in India from tech, finance or health sectors - for women just like you!
Last week, I was having a conversation with a friend related to personal financial planning and she shared how she had had fleeting thoughts about joining work but she was apprehensive to take the plunge. She was unaware of return to work programs available in India.
She had taken a 3-year long career break due to child care and the disconnect from the job arena that she spoke about is something several women in the same situation will relate to.
More often than not, women take a break from their careers to devote time to their kids because we still do not have a strong eco-system in place that can support new mothers, even though things are gradually changing on this front.
A married woman has to wear a sari, sindoor, mangalsutra, bangles, anklets, and so much more. What do these ornaments have to do with my love, respect, and commitment to my husband?
They: Are you married?
They: But You don’t look like it
Me: (in my Mind) Why should I?
Why is being married not enough for a woman, and she needs to look married too? I am tired of such comments in the nearly four years of being married.
I believe that anything that is forced is not right. I must have a choice. I am a living human, not a puppet. And I am not stopping anyone by not following any tradition. You are free to do whatever you like to do. But do not force others. It’s depressing.