How I Overcame Postpartum Depression With The High Of Writing A Book About My Journey!

Posted: September 27, 2019

You may have had the happiest pregnancy and might still suffer from postpartum depression. Here are a few ways you can deal with it happily and easily!

Postpartum Depression is Real. PERIOD. How does it feel inside the mind of someone suffering? Like this –

There are days when you cry for no apparent reason at all.
There are days when you feel all lonely in a house filled with people.
There are days when you feel trapped.
There are days when the mirror reflects back an overly exhausted woman. The image haunts you because you don’t recognise this woman. She doesn’t feel like you.
There are days when you lose your appetite.
There are days when there is a storm inside you.
There are days when your body just doesn’t work.
There are days when you feel like running away.
There are days when you have anxiety attacks.
There are days when you want to be your old carefree self and know that’s not happening soon. It’s frustrating.
Then, there are days when you want to quit everything.

Does this sound familiar? I know it does and yet postpartum depression is a condition ignored by a majority of us. The family members don’t know how to help and we ourselves feel lost.

My ‘miracle baby’ and postpartum depression

I gave birth to a miracle baby last December. I say ‘miracle’ because he came when we had lost hope and were least expecting. And I thought to myself, ‘What else do I want in my life now?’ I thought I will be the happiest mom ever after my wish being granted after so long.

They talk about the sleepless nights. And about breastfeeding woes. But no one prepares you for postpartum depression. It hits you in the belly out of the blue and you have no clue what hit you so hard.

When it happened with me too, I kept asking myself, “Why am I not happy after delivering this miracle baby? Is something wrong with me? Why am I not being able to enjoy my motherhood?”

But luckily I work in a space where I understand my mind and body in and out. I am a Life Coach and I have helped my clients uplift their lives and be a best version of themselves.

And I knew something wasn’t right. Quick reading and reaching out to other mommy friends made me realise ‘this is normal’. And yet very few speak about it in public.

My quest to find more about postpartum depression

Once I knew it was postpartum depression, I started my quest to help myself. Of course I had the support system at home which was a God sent. I closed my eyes and asked my self, “What makes me happy?” The answer was instant – ‘writing’!

I wrote myself out of depression; I started writing letters to my baby. Took out 5 minutes a day to write. Sat in a nice place, took the diary and wrote with a pen.

The first time I did that, I felt a surge of vital energy inside me. It felt good to have just those 5 minutes to myself amidst the chaos of first 3 months post delivery.

Slowly I started sharing real, raw and vulnerable mommy stories on my social media handles. They were well received and many mommies reached out to me saying they resonated with me. It felt good to have company and know that I wasn’t alone in this.

I decided to pen down a book

One day I decided to take my writing a step ahead and started writing a book. I already knew what the book would be about, I just needed a nudge to get going. When I was pregnant I was leading a high vibe life.

As I mentioned, I am also a certified Life Coach from University of Wellness, West Virginia. This enabled me to create my own rituals for the miracle growing inside me. My pregnancy was no less a celebration filled with self created meditations, affirmations and rituals providing nourishment to my baby at physical, emotional and soul level.

I wanted to share all these tools with my pregnant sisters. My book Love Infused Pregnancy -Your Guide to a Conscious Pregnancywas thus born.

My writing process

I started writing my book on my mobile in notes. Our mobiles are with us 24*7. It was a boon. I wrote whenever I got a chance. The night feeding sessions were major contributors because I had to keep myself awake.

When the incessant crying reduced and a routine was established with the baby, I transferred all my mobile notes to the laptop. Slowly depression was taking a back seat and the joy of writing was riding the show. When I finished writing the book, my son was 6 months old and I was almost out of my depression.

I birthed my second baby that is my book a few days ago to the world and it felt surreal.

When anyone asks me, “How did you manage to publish a book with a baby onboard?”

My answer is, “It’s actually because of the baby that the book was born and also thanks to postpartum depression!”

What to do when the waves hit you

Jokes apart. If you are someone who is reading this and is going through the waves of postpartum depression, I want you to read this –

  • It’s natural to suffer from postpartum depression. It’s ok. What isn’t ok is ignoring the cues.
  • Seek help. Talk to a fellow mommy, your spouse, friend, sister, or anyone you are comfortable sharing with.
  • Don’t underestimate the power of ‘me time’ post delivery. Even if it is 5 minutes a day. Make sure you give those 5 minutes to yourself, baby free.
  • When you feel anxiety pangs, close your eyes and focus on your breath. Take long breaths that calm your nervous system instantly. With every inhale, imagine inhaling vital energy inside and with every exhale imagine giving off all your anxiety.
  • Light exercise helps immensely. You can start with stretches.
  • Follow a hobby. Even if it means spending an hour a week, pursuing a hobby.
  • And moreover, ‘love yourself’ despite the stretch marks, dark circles, big hips and overbearing tummy!

Know that you have help now, you just have to ask!

If I can reach out to even one depressed mommy with this post and make a difference, I think my job here is done 🙂

Let’s talk about postpartum depression publicly!

Picture credits: Unsplash

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Pradnya Vernekar is a Certified Holistic Life Coach from the University of Wellness, West Virginia.

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