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Kangana’s ‘fierce’ interview charmed us, and she deserves every accolade. Yet, here are some more thoughts that came to this author’s mind.
Yes, we love her! We love her for her guts, we love her for speaking her mind fearlessly and we love her for the way she makes every fight seem so within our limits. Her recent interview at outspoken interview at Aap ki Adalat made everyone feel in awe!
But along with awe, her interview brought along a lot of other sentiments for me.
One of the things which has been evident in her interview and looking at all her relationships is that our men are not trained to handle such aggressive women. When I say aggressive, I don’t mean dominating women. I mean women who love themselves fiercely, women who want to do something in their lives on their own and women who know exactly what they want in their life. Our patriarchal society doesn’t help men who want to support such women either. Take a look around you and see what the reality shouts out when it comes to such fierce women. How are they treated? How are their relationships? We still need to come a long way as a society to evolve and be able to accept such fierce women.
I didn’t like that she was asked the question, “Weren’t you afraid while fighting against them?” Do we ask this question to men? Why do we still glorify men who cook and women who stand and speak up? Isn’t it natural? Isn’t it the way it is supposed to be irrespective of our gender? I become a strong woman when I speak up for myself. But isn’t that a basic right for every living being? In today’s progressive world we are still asking these questions to women and it says so much about our still regressive society.
While women can be best friends, we still don’t see that sisterhood enough in our friendships. After Kangana spoke, no one has come to her aid or supported her. I don’t see other women from the Bollywood fraternity standing with her. To be frank, I don’t see any female friends around her. Why do most of us women let go of our friendships and just revolve around our families or our careers? Why don’t we get involved in sisterhood projects? Women are the future and it won’t happen if we bicker and fight amongst ourselves. Pick up that phone and call that childhood friend. It is never late to nurture friendships and NOW is the time!
And lastly, sometimes I feel that in all the discourse around feminism, we tend to forget the good men in society. How much time during the interview was spent on talking about Anurag Kashyap or other men who helped Kangana? All we did was concentrate our focus on the wrongdoings of a few men. That paints a dramatically different picture and makes us think that good doesn’t exist in our society anymore. But that isn’t the whole truth, right? We slammed the bad men and applauded Kangana for all that she did and forgot about the good men. We got carried away by her so-called ‘bravery’ and no one thought about asking, “But hey, what about the good men in your life?”
Yes, we made Kangana our ‘hero’. But in doing so we failed as a society. And that hurts. It hurts so bad.
What can we do to change this?
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Pradnya Vernekar is a Certified Holistic Life Coach from the University of Wellness, West Virginia.
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