Worried That You Might Be A Helicopter Mom? Then Read My Story

Having doubts as a parent, in an environment changing so fast, is natural. But how do you know if you're doing what it takes?

Having doubts as a parent, in an environment changing so fast, is natural. But how do you know if you’re doing what it takes?

Am I? I have been asking this question to myself since a week. Some days, I am completely convinced that, yes I am, and immediately I find a very good reason to  say I am not.

This article is to touch base with all those moms out there who are in the same boat.

I never ever thought that I would put myself in this bracket, if not for a friend of mine who actually told me that I would have a problem with whatever decision my son takes without consulting me.

I laughed at what she said and then tried explaining to her that I am very cool mama.

But her words lingered for a lot of time on my mind.

Good mother, bad mother

Most people who know me, tell me that I am a very good mother, which again perplexes me, because how can there be a bad mother?

Maybe, they say that because I have always been there for my kids, no matter what. I have heard people take me as an example for good parenting. My kids were called a ‘fine raise’. I have also been riduculed for the same by some others who thought that I didn’t have anything better to do.

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I was just doing what every mother would do, bringing up the kids to the best of my ability. I was not looking either for accolades or criticism.

Yes, I have an overriding desire to raise my kids with high self esteem without overindulgence.

It takes a lot of effort to raise the Generation Z kids, who are smart, mature, ambitious and driven.

You have to really be one among them. You should laugh with them while watching all the stand up comedy shows, the likes of AIB and not cringe.

You should look like you don’t care and you agree that it is very natural to walk on the road, or anywhere, anytime, to have our thumbs acquire spasticity banging out two – way conversations with under constructed words. You should agree with them when they say that the boy or girl with the most ridiculous haircut is supercool.

A generational thing,… or not?

I know every generation has trouble with the one that comes behind them, but I always feel that our parents had it easier. They were not too involved and it was always their rules. I don’t remember ever going against those rules, whether I like or agree with them was a different matter altogether.

Our kids don’t hesitate to tell us what they feel about anything and everything. Isn’t it better this way?

The combination of independence gained from powerful technology and intelligence makes this generation smart, smarter than all the generations.

I know it becomes challenging to tread the path of being one among them while being the parent.

So, I found a way. I always agree with my kids on everything and then slowly talk about the pros and cons. I make them list them out. And then we decide. It always works. I have become a pro now.

It’s not always easy, especially when your child is growing. You tend to disagree with so many things. You have to work on finding the middle path.

But since the day my friend said that I am a helicopter mom, I am having serious doubts if I am overdoing it. Do I really bend it my way? Will I really not agree or like what my kids do without my consultation?

I really can’t predict the future but I will try and take it little easy, try not worry too much. Will let loose the reigns but will hold it anyway.

For all those moms, who are in the same boat as me, Just pause, give yourself a pat. We are raising the most intelligent generation and we are really doing a good job.

That’s what I did.

A version of this was first published here.

Image source: shutterstock

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