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'OMG look at her!' Nope. Don't look if you plan to judge someone without knowing their story. It's simple, just stop judging people!
‘OMG look at her!’ Nope. Don’t look if you plan to judge someone without knowing their story. It’s simple, just stop judging people!
‘It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.’
– Henry David Thoreau
‘Look at the maid, she is dressed like some officer.’ ‘Oh my! Look at her! Her husband is doing so well. Why is she always in rags?’ ‘Her husband is such a nice man, she unnecessarily paints a bad picture of him.’
‘Look, they have gone on a holiday again and she says her relationship with her husband is strained.’ ‘She says she has no time left for herself after the household chores but she still paints, writes’.
‘Oh my god! Look at her. Does she think that she is a teenager? Why is enrolling in the dance class now?’ ‘Do they need to have such a grand wedding at this age? How shameless!’
All of these statements are familiar to most of us since we have either said or heard these, at least once in our lives! If not this, something on the same lines has been said.
We are constantly judging people, mostly because we either don’t know the person or because we think they may not be as affected by our statements. Some times, the person may not really know and at others, they may not care. But what happens if it does affect them?
Worse still, what if you are judging someone you know? Despite knowing their issues and what they go through, you go on to judge them. How do you justify that?
What if we changed our reactions to the above-mentioned situations?
Instead of judging the maid on her clothes, what if we considered that she got her salary and is probably the one time she’d spend on herself? Similarly, instead of wondering why the woman is so underdressed, what if we questioned why she doesn’t spend on herself? Could there be a problem there?
Instead of wondering if she lying have you wondered how difficult it must be for her to live with someone who behaves so well in public? And for all you know, she may be keeping up the pretence for her kids’ sake. Image how hard must that be!
She hardly gets any sleep because of all the work she has to do at home and yet she manages to find time to draw since it is her stress-buster! I am sure she’d like it if we appreciated her work. Or maybe she’s finally learnt to dance. She was waiting for the moment all her life!
Similarly, the couple must’ve finally found happiness in each other after years of suffering. Don’t they have the right to celebrate their wedding the way they want it? Why must their age matter?
When we judge people we create barriers in our minds and put people in boxes of who they are supposed to be. These force people to feel like there are standards they need to live up to instead of leading their own lives the way they want.
I am sure everyone has their own stories of pain and sadness that lead them to live life a little differently than you do. So stop judging them and try to understand them!
So let’s look deeper and understand people. It may not change the person’s life but it will definitely bring some hope to their hearts.
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Kal Ho Na Ho
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Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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People have relationships without marriages. People cheat. People break up all the time. Just because two people followed some rituals does not make them more adept at tolerating each other for life.
Why is that our society defines a woman’s success by her marital status? Is it an achievement to get married or remain married? Is it anybody’s business? Are people’s lives so hollow that they need someone’s broken marriage to feel good about themselves?
A couple of months ago, I came across an article titled, “Shweta Tiwari married for the third time.” When I read through it, the article went on to clarify that the picture making news was one her one of her shows, in which she is all set to marry her co-star. She is not getting married in real life.
Fair enough. But why did the publication use such a clickbait title that was so misleading? I guess the thought of a woman marrying thrice made an exciting news for them and their potential readers who might click through.
Did the creators of Masaba Masaba just wake up one morning, go to the sets and decide to create something absolutely random without putting any thought into it?
Anyone who knows about Neena Gupta’s backstory would say that she is a boss lady, a badass woman, and the very definition of a feminist. I would agree with them all.
However, after all these decades of her working in the Indian film industry, is her boldness and bravery the only things worth appreciating?
The second season of Masaba Masaba (2020-2022) made me feel as if both Neena Gupta and her daughter Masaba have gotten typecast when it comes to the roles they play on screen. What’s more is that the directors who cast them have stopped putting in any effort to challenge the actors, or to make them deliver their dialogues differently.