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'OMG look at her!' Nope. Don't look if you plan to judge someone without knowing their story. It's simple, just stop judging people!
‘OMG look at her!’ Nope. Don’t look if you plan to judge someone without knowing their story. It’s simple, just stop judging people!
‘It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.’
– Henry David Thoreau
‘Look at the maid, she is dressed like some officer.’ ‘Oh my! Look at her! Her husband is doing so well. Why is she always in rags?’ ‘Her husband is such a nice man, she unnecessarily paints a bad picture of him.’
‘Look, they have gone on a holiday again and she says her relationship with her husband is strained.’ ‘She says she has no time left for herself after the household chores but she still paints, writes’.
‘Oh my god! Look at her. Does she think that she is a teenager? Why is enrolling in the dance class now?’ ‘Do they need to have such a grand wedding at this age? How shameless!’
All of these statements are familiar to most of us since we have either said or heard these, at least once in our lives! If not this, something on the same lines has been said.
We are constantly judging people, mostly because we either don’t know the person or because we think they may not be as affected by our statements. Some times, the person may not really know and at others, they may not care. But what happens if it does affect them?
Worse still, what if you are judging someone you know? Despite knowing their issues and what they go through, you go on to judge them. How do you justify that?
What if we changed our reactions to the above-mentioned situations?
Instead of judging the maid on her clothes, what if we considered that she got her salary and is probably the one time she’d spend on herself? Similarly, instead of wondering why the woman is so underdressed, what if we questioned why she doesn’t spend on herself? Could there be a problem there?
Instead of wondering if she lying have you wondered how difficult it must be for her to live with someone who behaves so well in public? And for all you know, she may be keeping up the pretence for her kids’ sake. Image how hard must that be!
She hardly gets any sleep because of all the work she has to do at home and yet she manages to find time to draw since it is her stress-buster! I am sure she’d like it if we appreciated her work. Or maybe she’s finally learnt to dance. She was waiting for the moment all her life!
Similarly, the couple must’ve finally found happiness in each other after years of suffering. Don’t they have the right to celebrate their wedding the way they want it? Why must their age matter?
When we judge people we create barriers in our minds and put people in boxes of who they are supposed to be. These force people to feel like there are standards they need to live up to instead of leading their own lives the way they want.
I am sure everyone has their own stories of pain and sadness that lead them to live life a little differently than you do. So stop judging them and try to understand them!
So let’s look deeper and understand people. It may not change the person’s life but it will definitely bring some hope to their hearts.
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Kal Ho Na Ho
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I wanted to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting 'win' moments.
My daughter turned eight years old in January, and among the various gifts she received from friends and family was an absolutely beautiful personal journal for self-growth. A few days ago, she was exploring the pages when she found a section for writing a letter to her future self. She found this intriguing and began jotting down her thoughts animatedly.
My curiosity piqued and she could sense it immediately. She assured me that she would show me the letter soon, and lo behold, she kept her word.
I glanced at her words, expecting to see a mention of her parents in the first sentence. But, to my utter delight, the first thing she had written about was her AMBITION. Yes, the caps here are intentional because I want to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting ‘win’ moments.
Uorfi Javed has been making waves through social media, and is often the target of trolls. So who and what exactly is this intriguing young woman?
Uorfi Javed (no relation to Javed Akhtar) is a name that crops up in my news feeds every now and again. It is usually because she got trolled for being in some or other ‘daring’ outfit and then posting those images on social media. If I were asked, I would not be able to name a single other reason why she is famous. I am told that she is an actor but I would have no frankly no clue about her body of work (pun wholly unintended).
So is Urfi Javed (or Uorfi Javed as she prefers) famous only for being famous? How does she impact the cause of feminism by permitting herself to be objectified, trolled, reviled?
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