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I had a feminist father, but because he was an introvert who did not express his feelings, and had a very forbidding exterior, I had not realized my privilege then.
You don’t need a day to remember someone, especially your parents. But sometimes these celebrations like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day may help bring back old memories.
I grew up in the 70s, 80s and 90s. It was a period of minimalism with a pinch of strictness. Things then were not as easy as they are today. The head of the family had a lot of dominance over the family. Everything you decided needed a final approval from the father. And his decision was always final, just like the Lakshman Rekha in the Ramayana. There was no scope for discussion, and you had no choice but to do what you were told to!
I had two sisters. Even if you go by the majority of 4:1, the women never dared to overpower the single man in the house. This was how things around me functioned 30-40 years ago. With an introverted, serious and short-tempered nature, he was tough to understand.
I realize now that my father’s strict nature helped us have a grounded childhood. We did not demand expensive clothes or luxuries. We were happy with a new colour pencil, a pencil box, and some new books. I feel that a child doesn’t understand these materialistic things until you expose them to these.
On the other hand, there are always other things in your life which can never be replaced. Freedom of thought, freedom to experiment, freedom to embrace failure, and freedom from expectations!
After so many years, what I remember the most is my freedom of thought, and how my decisions were never a hurdle to him. Although it was a time when women were confined to their homes and driving was an alien act, he gifted me a two-wheeler vehicle on my 18th birthday. He arranged for money from his old insurance policy, and made sure that I started my journey with the new.
Riding a two-wheeler in Delhi during the 90s was fun and gave me a sense of freedom. I was an exception who was let free to enjoy freedom in all sense. Day or night, I would drive, either for guitar classes or extra classes or just for fun, with no fear of any sort. And the kind of freedom I had was seldom shared by others.
I am a parent now and can analyse those things closely. How different was it? Going against social norms to cater to every possible thing for your children. I admit you cannot realise those things unless you are on the same page. The stage of parenting where you need to let your offspring blossom!
In today’s world when there is a lot of uproar about feminism, equality and freedom for women, I can say that I had lived these words much before they became buzzwords on the internet. I never knew I had a feminist father who was always there for us through thick and thin. We were set free to live our lives, achieve our own goals, and find happiness in our ways. There never was a Girls v/s Boys comparison at any point in time. We never had any restrictions related to gender. My father’s limited communication and reserved nature was never a hurdle between us.
Though we never hugged each other, and he was not like the hands-on dads of today’s generation, the power of his love was always connected to us, through his profound silence and comforting inner voice, “Go ahead, I am always with you at all times”.
Over the course of our lives and experiences, emotional support from our families helps us stand our ground. It is validating and empowering.
I always remember him as the strong pillar of my life and the compassionate way I was nurtured. Being a parent to two kids, I ensure that the rules that applied to my childhood are followed by them. I hope to instill in them the understanding of the freedom that has been given to them, and the ability to learn positive life lessons.
Even though 30 years are enough for a bigger change, and parenting has come a long way, I have learnt and experienced why it is important to give emotional support, and the right of freedom to every child. All these words like mental health, emotional quotient, feminism were not in everyone’s dictionary three decades ago, but their presence cannot be denied in all respects!
Image source: pixabay
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What I loved was how there is so much in the movie of the SRK we have known, and also a totally new star. The gestures, the smile, the wit and the charisma are all too familiar, but you also witness a rawness, an edginess.
When a movie that got the entire nation in a twist – for the right and wrong reasons – hits the theatres, there is bound to be noise. From ‘I am going to watch it – first day first show’ to ‘Boycott the movie and make it a flop’, social media has been a furore of posts.
Let me get one thing straight here – I did not watch Pathaan to make a statement or to simply rebel as people would put it. I went to watch it for the sheer pleasure of witnessing my favourite superstar in all his glory being what he is best at being – his magnificent self. Because when it comes to screen presence, he burns it, melts it and then resurrects it as well like no other. Because when it comes to style and passion, he owns it like a boss. Because SRK is, in a way, my last connecting point to the girl that I once was. Though I have evolved into so many more things over the years, I don’t think I am ready to let go of that girl fully yet.
There is no elephant in the room really here because it’s a fact that Bollywood has a lot of cleaning up to do. Calling out on all the problematic aspects of the industry is important and in doing that, maintaining objectivity is also equally imperative. I went for Pathaan for entertainment and got more than I had hoped for. It is a clever, slick, witty, brilliantly packaged action movie that delivers what it promises to. Logic definitely goes flying out of the window at times and some scenes will make you go ‘kuch bhi’ , but the screenplay clearly reminds you that you knew all along what you were in for. The action sequences are lavish and someone like me who is not exactly a fan of this genre was also mind blown.
Recent footage of her coming out of an airport had comments preaching karma and its cruel ways, that Samantha "deserved her illness" because she filed for divorce.
Samantha Ruth Prabhu fell from being the public’s sweetheart to a villain overnight because she filed for divorce. The actress was struck with myositis post divorce, much to the joy of certain groups (read sexist) in our society.
A troll responded to Samantha’s tweet, “Women Rising!!” by adding to it “just to fall”. She replied, “Getting back up makes it all the more sweeter, my friend.”
Here’s another insensitive tweet by BuzZ Basket showing fake concern for her autoimmune disease. “Feeling sad for Samantha, she lost all her charm and glow. When everyone thought she came out of divorce strongly and her professional life was seeing heights, myositis hit her badly, making her weak again.” Samantha responded, “I pray you never have to go through months of treatment and medication like I did. And here’s some love from me to add to your glow.”
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