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A dusky woman is often the target of much discrimination in a world that is enamoured of fair skin, right from her birth to later life!
No denying the fact that all around us is God’s creation. It has been carved so impeccably by God! Whenever we look around we realize how beautifully God has created us and how everyone is different. We can’t really make it better than that. Can we? We can’t. There is not even a leaf similar to another one anywhere all over the world.
Well, there is nothing new about these accepted lines but again and again we humans have redefined it in our own ways. The parameters have changed so drastically for us to witness any beauty around.
And for many, fair is still beautiful!
Who can better understand and speak about this than someone who herself is dusky? Yes, I am a dusky woman and no matter what others think of me, I am very satisfied with the way I look. I don’t need to clarify anything to anyone. But I do see many mocking dark skin color. Sometimes it gives you a feeling that your skin color will ultimately decide the destiny of your life.
If I really need to remember the torture of being dusky, then surely I can write a book. Whenever a girl is born with a dusky skin it’s more of a burden for a family or I would say, considered nothing less than a crime. From the day one when you learn to sense your surroundings there are never-ending sagas of criticism. In school, college and every possible place you get free advice. “You have nice features but it would have been better if you had been a little fairer.” I don’t understand how can someone really pass this venom on to others without any common sense? Does beauty lie only in skin color? Is being fair above everything around?
What about your inner beauty? What about your virtue, your attitude, and your skills? The bonding which you make with others? Your smartness to understand others, your intelligence, your awards, your education, and accolades?
People have illogical and senseless theories related to being dusky or being fair. My children are much fairer than me, and I was shocked when someone asked me, “Would you love them the same way if they would have been dusky?” It made me see red!
For a mother, love is the most important thing and nothing else matters. A mother and a child’s relationship has no boundaries to prove anything to anyone. Discrimination is nowhere in her dictionary, in relation to skin color or any other reason. I learned in these years how to debunk such self-made theories but I think this thinking has to change on a larger scale.
I am not against fair skin. But should it be a parameter to judge someone? How can a skin color make you superior? Why is being dark seen by someone as if it’s a crime? I have often been advised to apply those unlimited fair and lovely cremes. I have been told as a child not to play in the sun or that I must apply besan or haldi. I have been told to not wear such bright colors as they don’t suit me. I don’t know what happiness one can get by playing this dirty game which is biased against your skin!
Why can a dusky girl never think of marrying a fair guy? How does it matter? When is it seen that an extremely fair girl can easily match up well with a dusky or dark skin colored guy? Why should a dusky girl avoid wearing bright colors? And why does no one see her as beautiful?
When we talk about equality and being human then why we are still trapped in these self-made declarations? Why do people hesitate to marry these dusky women? Why can’t a fair guy think twice and go ahead? Why is there a mindset that it happens only in love marriages?
The list is endless. Doesn’t matter how much you shut them up, you will get another set of people with a similar mindset. The only thing is just to speak out and make them think better!
I feel no guilt in being a dusky woman who is married to a very fair guy. For me, there is nothing wrong being dusky or being fair. It’s all about inner beauty. This is what defines you at the end.
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Founder-Life Of A Mother (Blog). Just spreading some positive vibes around.
As far as marriage is concerned, when are people going to use their brains and open their eyes to see that -Being fair or dusky, having a big fat wedding or a small thin one… these have NO direct connection WHATSOEVER, with how great or how lousy your marriage is going to work out. The personalities and behavioural traits of the two people in a marriage AND the effort each is willing to put into working things out, are the sole determinants of how well a marriage is going to work out!! But alas…when people are unwilling to see… they cannot not see!!! We have to only look around and analyse to know that we have enough examples to prove that these notions (of being fair and spending lavishly on weddings) should not be criteria for society to judge a person or hope to plan a lifetime upon, yet… we see people repeating the same mistakes over and over…like they say- a dog’s curved tail, can never be straightened, I guess!!!
Thanks Sonia for resonating same with my views! I think things will surely change one day, let’s keep out spirits high.
If Nandita Das Went Out To Buy Makeup Products For Dark Skin, What Would She Find?
Why I No Longer Succumb To Being Stereotyped For My Dusky Skin
The Wife Is Dark, The Husband Is Fair. Is This A Love Marriage?
How We As Women Can Let Go Of Sexism
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