Starting A New Business? 7 Key Points To Keep In Mind.
Indian cinema has portrayed a stereotypical image of the Indian mother in law. A dour faced, cock-eyed banshee. Is it so even today?
The Indian mother in law was always shown as a vicious termagant, conspiring and conniving and creating a rift among couples. The daughter in law was showered with aspersions regarding her upbringing or household chores, while the son was a mere spectator and a mute testimony to her evil designs.
Patriarchy had created problems in our society. Girls were uneducated, confined to the four walls of their house, home and hearth was their only source of entertainment. From their parental house to their marital house was their only life. Their prosaic existence created frustration and this was vented on the daughters in law. This went on for ages and the daughters in law bore this torment without retaliating.
But the eighties saw a paradigm shift in the thinking of people. Girls were given good education, they started having careers and procured good jobs. The mindset of the people took a new turn. Indian cinema too was instrumental in changing the perspective of people, by portraying liberal, glamorous mothers in law, who had a better equation with their daughters in law.
Today the mother in law has developed a swagger, and is on equal footing with her daughter in law.
Education and jobs have brought a great change. The Indian mother in law is well groomed, well toned, smart, confident, pleasant to talk to. Armed with diverse knowledge, she carries herself with poise, goes to salons and spas, reunions, pizzerias, parties, religious discourses, et al. Being tech savvy is the order of the day and in fact she shares an easy camaraderie with her daughter in law.
The villainous streak has been replaced by a liberal mind set. They don’t want to hang up their boots till the end.
They can be summed up in the lines of Robert Frost-
The woods are lovely, dark and deep But I have miles to go, before I sleep!
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If a woman insists on her prospective groom earning enough to keep her comfortable, she is not being “lazy”. She is just being practical, just like men!
When an actress described women as “lazy” because they choose not to have careers and insist on only considering prospective grooms who earn a lot, many jumped to her defence.
Many men (and women) shared stories about how “choosy” women have now become.
One wrote in a now-deleted post that when they were looking for a bride for her brother, the eligible women all laid down impossible conditions – they wanted the groom to be not more than 3 years older than them, to earn at least 50k per month, and to agree to live in an independent flat.
I came out of a dark trench in life. Here are a few things I learnt as I got on my feet again, and I want to share these with you.
This morning I was paying all the utility bills, like milk, electricity and newspapers. The bills came to around 5k. Maa asked if it’s too much. I brushed it off saying, this is absolutely fine.
Here is the thing. There was a time (not going into any details) when I wasn’t able to do it. Despite wanting to, so much. I have led sleepless nights worrying about money, during a specific period when I did not work. So, the ability to take care of your mother (my father is no more) though she has her own pension feels so good.
It’s not that your parents always need you. But just to be able to ease their lives is such a blessing.
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