Read on how to enrich your life by purpose, i.e. to find depth and, a reason to get out of bed each morning, your own Ikigai.
We often try to avoid pain by getting numb. But you will feel alive only when you experience that pain and let it resolve to cleanse you of it its effects.
I have been in pain since a week now. Severe excruciating pain! Ear pain to be precise. The reason for getting an ear infection still unknown. I neglected the pain for a week but then Sunday night it became unbearable and we went to the Urgent Care.
After the initial medication, I was still in severe pain but refused to have painkillers as I don’t like taking painkillers knowing the damage they do to your body. Tuesday morning, no change, and I took an Advil as the pain was beyond bearable. The pain didn’t subside and I popped another Advil. We went to the Urgent Care again, where the doctor gave me a local anaesthesia to reduce the pain!
Oh boy! How relieved I felt after that dose of anesthesia. My ear became numb and there was no feeling at all in the ear. My nerves calmed down and I had almost reached heaven! And yet, the irony was that in an attempt to not feel the pain, I had stopped feeling my ear too! I did not feel my ear at all and it was if a part of my body was cut off! This very incident brought back so many life stories to me!
I remembered the time when my grandfather died and I had denied being sad about his death. I kept on telling myself that he had a peaceful death and we all should be happy about it that he was not bedridden during his last moments. I refused to feel the pain by applying the anesthesia of denial and my positive attitude until a point where it all became very toxic! My body and mind needed a vent out and I was denying it by applying the balm of positivity. It did not work and I finally collapsed. I cried, I cried a lot holding my dad and let all that grief strike me at once. I finally allowed the melancholy of pain to take over me.
I remembered the time when a friend betrayed me and I behaved as if nothing had happened and everything was just fine! I went on with my life as usual until the betrayal started eroding me from inside. I had to erase the effect of the ‘everything is fine’ anesthesia and go and confront the friend. I did that and that numb part inside me came live again.
I remembered the time, when a renowned magazine rejected my writing. I took on the ‘My writing is too good for them’ pill and did not feel the pain of rejection. I stopped writing for a while telling myself my writing is too good for the earthly people, until it started suffocating me. I had to remove the blinds and accept the fact that my writing needs improvement. I felt the pain of rejection and started working towards making my writing better. I then felt liberated.
Many a times, we do exactly the same. Shut off pain from our lives and get numb. But you will feel alive only when u experience that pain! Don’t let anesthesia numb your body along with the pain, feel the pain and evolve!
Feel the melancholy of pain and free yourself!
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Published here earlier.
Image source: pixabay
Pradnya Vernekar is a Certified Holistic Life Coach from the University of Wellness, West Virginia.
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