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Rape in a marriage, that is, marital rape, is still a big problem in India, with the law still considering marriage 'sacred', unwilling to really take action!
Rape in a marriage, that is, marital rape, is still a big problem in India, with the law still considering marriage ‘sacred’, unwilling to really take action!
“Rape is the crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse or any other form of sexual penetration with the offender against their will”. – Oxford Dictionary definition.
We generally associate this term with a situation when the man involved is a stranger. But what if it’s the person within the home, such as one’s spouse? Marital rape, the term used in such cases, is non-consensual sex in which the perpetrator is the victim’s spouse. The force could result in intimate partner violence, an abuse of power, establishing dominance and control over the other.
So what’s the big deal? Isn’t sex a vital aspect in marriage? As simple as it may seem so, ‘Marital Rape’ is a form of violence and could greatly affect the partner involved, both physically as well as emotionally. The Government of India recently made a statement that marital rape cannot be criminalised in India as marriages are sacred in the country. A host of debates and discussions have been sparked, with many women’s rights activists being irked by the statement.
Well, I do agree that marriage is sacred. It is sacred because it brings together two entirely different individuals to live under one home. It is sacred because it speaks of mutual respect, understanding, trust and equality. If these are prevalent in a marriage, yes, I would call it a sacred relationship. But if there is dominance and suppression of the other partner, the whole sacredness aspect is a big question mark.
The Justice Verma Committee report says that any sexual contact against a women’s consent is sexual violence regardless of the relationship of the accused to the women- whether husband or Boyfriend. So just because she is married, she doesn’t have to suffer an aftermath of rape.
The next big question in almost all minds- What about false claims? Could it be misused? It could be, but that is not an excuse to scrap the law. Why so? Read further.
Having a marital law, may not be the ultimate solution to the issue of marital rape. Nevertheless, it is a much needed thing, to bring about a change in the mindset that prevails in society.
It could bring out a message, loud and clear, that marriage does not give the man a license to exercise his dominance over the woman.
It would help us take that step ahead in bringing about a positive change in our patriarchal society, of bringing about equality and respect in a relationship.
Published here earlier.
A blogger who writes on society and culture, hoping to bring about positive impact on as many people as possible. Read more posts on www.meotherwise.com. read more...
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In the last few days I was having a conversation with my younger sister about relationships, and she said something which hit me hard.
I have seen a lot of people feel uncomfortable sharing their age, but I have no such hesitations. I am 32 years old and my younger cousins tell me that I belong to the ‘old generation’. If you are born in the year 1990, you are still considered among them, but if a year less – 1989, you are from the old school.
Being an elder sister, my cousins come to me seeking advice about studies, career and relationships, but when I try to help in the way I understand, the only reply I get is, “Didi, leave it, you’ll not understand it. Aapki generation aur hamari generation mein bahut fark hai. (There’s a lot of difference between your and my generation).”
In the last few days I was having a conversation with my younger sister about relationships, and she said something which hit me hard. Though she is from the new generation and I am from the so-called old generation, we share a lot of mutual thoughts and interests. We spoke about love, how the generation born after the year 2000 perceives love.
You ask any SATC fan. We all wanted a friendship like the one that the 4 girls shared. A friendship that was a rock. A friendship that seemed to withstand the tests of time and in general, life.
I confess that SATC (Sex and the City) has a special place in my heart. I must have watched the 6 seasons and every single episode at that, countless times. Seriously, there was nothing like sitting back with a glass of wine, a bar of dark chocolate and an episode of SATC, after a hard day at work. It renewed me. Made me laugh.
So much so, that I even ended up going for the special SATC bus tour when I visited New York in 2019.
Now some may call the show frivolous but for me, it was pure, honest entertainment. I was in love with the fashion, the ‘fabulousness’, the fun! And it had its moments as well. Moments that were truly thought-provoking, moments that made its viewers take a good, candid look at their own relationships, particularly their female friendships.