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The first year of marriage is undoubtedly the most important period for a couple. Be it an arrange marriage or love marriage, the challenges are basically the same.
The first year of marriage is undoubtedly the most important period for a couple. Be it an arranged or love marriage, the challenges are basically the same.
No matter how much the couple interacts before the marriage, the real deal starts when they start living together. None of us were aware of everyday troubles that married people will have.
Just a few days ago, I had the whole bed to myself. Now I try to stretch a leg and a hair muscular limb restricts my movement. Instead of picking the newspaper, I had to pick up a tea kettle early in the morning although I don’t drink tea.
The most dreaded moment was to enter the bathroom after my hubby left for the office. The whole place used to be a mess. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash bottles used to be scattered on the floor, at times liquid oozing out of all three of them. The toothpaste tube never had a cap on it. The mirror used to be covered with mist and splashes of his shaving cream. I used to tread around with such care as if a landmine would blow right on my face if I made one wrong move. My ordeal didn’t end here. The real challenge was to get rid of the wet mess of cloth he ‘Jockey-ingly’ left behind.
We moved into the same house he earlier used to share with his friends. His friends would casually drop by to check on their freshly ‘taken’ bhai. At times, hubby would invite them for a cup of tea which would extend to dinner, after dinner snacks and coffee.
I would yawn by covering my mouth with cushion or hand, not to offend Mr. GN or his buddies who would continuously crack some really silly jokes about office, cricket or ex-room mate. Most of the time they remained oblivious to the fact that I was even present there. After many such yawn-inducing encounters, I used to politely excuse myself and retire to the bedroom. Their laughter wouldn’t let me sleep rather it made me miss my BFFs even more.
When I wanted to talk, he would surf the TV channels and nod occasionally to show that he was listening. I knew he wasn’t. If he was, would he nod when I said “Hey I am going to take all the jewelry and run away with the dudhwala bhaiya tomorrow! (Yes, really, I did say this, and yes, he did nod!)
Many times we were on the verge of starting the third world war. Reason? 1. I washed his shirt that he wore only once. Really! After how many wears does a shirt qualifies for a wash? 2. When I lovingly applied ghee on his chapati when he was on a diet. (Occasional vada pav or biryani with colleagues wasn’t a problem!) 3. Changed his mother’s recipe of ‘Kadi Chawal’. (It tasted good by the way.)
I shall admit that sometimes I secretly wanted to mix horse laxatives in his masala chai whenever he ransacked my wardrobe just to find the other pair of socks. I could also sense that he wanted to smother me with my favorite pillow ( pink with white daisy flowers) whenever I used his badminton racket to kill the creepy looking moth hovering over my head.
Five months passed and still there was no apparent solution to problems. I decided enough is enough. Something needed to be done right away. So what did I do to survive the first year of marriage?
From food to fun, dressing up to letting hair down, masala tea to rich foamy cappuccino, our interests were as similar as chalk and cheese. If I were a word, he would definitely be my antonym. Nothing ever matched. The only thing we had in common was our surnames.
But as the time passed, we began to acknowledge each other’s presence & importance. Things are better than they were earlier. To quote Mr. GN, now tension is far less between Indo-Pak!
Published previously here.
Image source: close-up of couple holding hands by Shutterstock.
Garima nag runs a successful Travel & Lifestyle blog, Sweetsharing.com. Her work is seen regularly on many national & international media platforms. She is an independent thinker, dotting mother, passionate Traveler with a coffee travel book read more...
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Half a decade ago marriage was a bargain between two famlies. Most of the women were married off to a man who was either well off or who could fend for his wife and family. Today the parameters of marriage have changed. Women no longer marry for the sake of economic security. Their expectations from marriage have changed in the course of years because of their changed status.
As women grew independent, their patterns of choosing partners have changed dramatically. Now women choose men who they feel can satiate their emotional as well as physical needs. Intimacy is no longer the physicality that happened between two people under the supervision of elders of the family for the sole purpose of procreation. Intimacy in today’s marriages involve understanding and fulfilling each other’s emotional as well as sexual needs.
So before you decide to hook up see if you know these five things about intimacy.
The recent Bold Care ad breaks some long standing taboos in Indian society about women's sexual pleasure and erectile dysfunction in men.
The co-owner of the new sexual health brand – Bold Care, Ranveer Singh, recently shared that he wants to focus at creating awareness amongst people about men’s sexual health and aims to provide a tangible solution to millions of people across the country. The new Bold Care ad which was dropped last week has taken the internet by storm. Netizens are ogling at the ad and cannot stop talking about it and how?
The Bold Care ad has created a buzz for multiple reasons. One, because of the unexpected collaboration between the A-list Bollywood actor and co-owner of the brand – Ranveer Singh and (wait for it… drumrolls please) the adult film star Johnny Sins.
People were not ready to see Johnny Sins in an Indian commercial ad and had their jaws dropped to the floor when they saw him dressed in a blue kurta and a golden coat and tie acting in a saas-bahu rip off. The internauts have claimed this unusual duo as the biggest crossover ever – bigger than Deadpool and Wolverine coming together! Second, the ad aims to normalise the stigma related to men’s sexual wellbeing and the ease with which it can be addressed.
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