What I Want To Say To My Newly Married Self

Posted: November 27, 2014

Life changes considerably after marriage. Here’s a letter to the newly married self, to not forget all the other things that matter.

Pretty Woman,

I know you secretly love that strange salutation. So, you finally braved everything that scared you,  and went ahead to do the right thing.  I am thankful that the Bridezilla period is finally over, and your family and friends can now concentrate on other things. At the same time, I am also relieved that my worst fear – of you running after the pandit with a broom – didn’t come true.

To tell you the truth, dad had a secret discussion with him before he performed the ceremony. A probable torch-bearer of patriarchy was cajoled into not saying anything in the name of tradition and culture that could, in any way, demean a woman. Ah, the things dad does for you!  So, it all turned out perfectly, barring a few inevitable misadventures, which you are blissfully unaware of.

Now, it’s that time of your life when your parents, siblings, cousins, and other family members will start assuming that you’re too busy playing the newly married woman. They might think twice before giving you a call. Even if they do, they won’t call you as often as they want to. They have all been by your side when you were a cranky bride-to-be. Now, they want to keep a safe distance so that it gives you time and space to settle down.

But, let me tell you that they miss you terribly. They hate that, for a little while now, you’re not just a phone call away. Even though you don’t feel the need to be left aloof by your own clan, it’s ironic that they do. So, don’t think about why your phone isn’t buzzing anymore – just pick it up and give them a call. You didn’t need an invitation to visit them earlier, you don’t need that now. Surprise them with a call or a visit and spread some happiness.

Don’t hesitate – grab a book,  take that trip with friends,  sleep through the day, write poetry, watch an SRK movie,  put to use that new camera lens. Be yourself first, then be what others expect you to be.

Things are new and shiny at the moment and there’s love all around. You’re busy playing his centre of attraction. You love the fact that life has taken this turn and the old, blurry roads are all in the past. It’s a wonderful life. But don’t settle for this monochrome that surrounds you at this time. I don’t need to remind you that you need your precious me-time to remain sane. Don’t hesitate – grab a book,  take that trip with friends,  sleep through the day, write poetry, watch an SRK movie,  put to use that new camera lens. Be yourself first, then be what others expect you to be.

You love the ‘pyaar dosti hai’ (love is friendship) theory and swear by it. There’s no denying the fact that he is your best friend. Love can, at most times, disguise itself as friendship and make you forget everything else. Enjoy the combination, but don’t ever forget your girlfriends. Don’t become the person who you didn’t approve of, when you were single.

You’ve called them your soul-sisters and that cannot change according to your relationship status. It might be a call in distress  from a friend, which you didn’t pick up because you were busy playing the ideal bahu. You might regret it later. It’s true that priorities will change, but no one is ever too busy to pick up the phone and check if things are fine. Bridges make a wonderful canvas, remember? Build that bridge and cross over, at times.

Remember that your life was always about more than one thing or person or place.  Embrace the new life, but always have time and space for people and things and places you connected to, before life became wonderful. It’s futile to say, but try to be a little civilized the next time you visit Madam Tussaud’s and hijack SRK there. Mr Right might not feel very comfortable about you endlessly kissing another man in public.

Cheers,

A Past You

Pic credit: Image of a bride via Shutterstock.

A software engineer, a realist, and a cribber by the day. A chef, a writer,

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Comments

3 Comments


  1. Loved every line Akansha 🙂 Its more than an year that I have now been married but can co-relate each bit of it. Kudos 🙂

  2. The common trajectory in any marriage, when we made him the centre of our Universe, forgetting our friends, the things we loved in the process. Me time is very important – takes a couple of years to realize that but I’m glad you already know.

  3. Pingback: An Apology Letter.. | akanksharaj5

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