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A delayed period. What could it be? Is something wrong? What is with us that we both want AND don't want our periods? A hilarious personal account.
A delayed period. What could it be? Is something wrong? What is with us that we both want AND don’t want our periods? A hilarious personal account.
Last Sunday, I woke up to the reminder that read –“Beware of yourself! You are about to start PMSing.” Well, that’s a sad thing to start the day with, but on the contrary I felt fresh and happy. Though I was sceptical of swinging back to having a grumpy day, I made a deliberate attempt to not stride back.
The day went fine and I was pretty happy to mark my calendar green for having spent a good day without giving a tough time to anyone including myself. Just a week to go and then, I would lay in peace.
So what happened? Take a look.
To my surprise, my week is awesome. My maid doesn’t make even the tiniest of mistakes. My husband pampers me to the core. And above all, my toddler remains joyful and has a perfect sleep routine.
Having spent the PMS period in such peace is difficult to accept and digest. With a perfect 30 day cycle, I am sure that today Aunt Flo would pay me a visit.
This lady is always a tough nut to crack. Every time there is a different hurdle of mood swings to pass through before she can pay me a visit. And even though she gives us a tough time, most girls and women look forward to her arrival.
I have made all arrangements for the arrival of Aunt Flo. The servant is instructed to cook light meals. While leaving she is supposed to hand over a hot cup of tea to me. The heating pad is ready on the bed. The maid is requested to stay over and manage my cranky toddler. Above all, those white sheets are to be changed to a darker colour.
The day passes by pretty smoothly and Aunt Flo hadn’t paid me a visit yet. I thank her for being so considerate but a couple of days down the line it starts getting on my nerves. Now my brain is processing all the data from the beginning of her last month’s visit.
‘I am just not ready for another child. But it is just impossible. My hubby was busy for the entire month and we barely spoke, forget about anything else.’
‘Wait a minute… We had a couple of morning quickies. But I am sure I used protection every time!’
Meanwhile, every 15 minutes, I visit the washroom to check, but to my dismay the juices are still plain white.
Just to confirm, I call up my hubby and he’s like ‘I am sure there is nothing wrong. Your dates might have changed because of stress and anxiety.’
However I am not much convinced. So next I google – ‘Can ingesting sperms lead to pregnancy? What is the probability of a manufacturing defect in a condom? And what is the possibility of it being tampered by sharp, long nails of girls?’
Note: I know it’s stupid. But that’s what this Aunt Flo does to me when she doesn’t ring the bell on time
Dismissing all possible reasons, I look for ways to induce periods and the easiest one was gulping down one whole papaya. Next some pineapple and ultimately push-ups and exercise. After waiting for another 8 hours and praying to god to please be kind, I am almost convinced that I am either pregnant for real or it is a phantom pregnancy.
At bedtime I cursed my husband for not knowing the right time to put the protection on. We had a good fight, and just then, Aunt Flo came gushing by.
Leaving the discussion abruptly, I straightaway rushed to the washroom; and what a heavenly feeling it was! Letting off all the grudge, angst and apprehension!! My hubby welcomed me back into the room with a sarcastic grin and the heating pad. I just gave him a sheepish smile, and he knew that the toddler is his responsibility for the night now.
Header image is a still from the movie Dear Zindagi
I am a mother of a baby boy, a management graduate and a multi-faceted professional mom making home a sweeter place to live in. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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