Maa Ka Dil: When My Son Gave Birth To The Irrational Mom In Me

Posted: December 2, 2019

A hilarious look at some of the biggest worries mothers can go through, even though their fears may be unfounded, illogical – how does that mean they aren’t real? 

I have grown up listening to various beliefs of maa and rejecting those which were not backed by scientific evidence. Maa told me not to step forward if a cat just crossed the road, not to step out if someone just sneezed, not to trim nails and hair on Thursdays and Saturdays and many more. But I shrugged off most of them and moved on. By god’s grace nothing wrong happened.

But I always promised myself that I will not become an irrational mom like maa. But God planned to throw a test at me sooner than I had expected. It all began with those 2 pink lines.

Mom to be

It was beginning of 4th month of pregnancy, crimson hues struck through the panes, and I rubbed my eyes open to the view of a lifetime. My hubby was standing with the trolly of breakfast – 2 star-shaped toasts with white butter, baked beans, a glass of juice with mint toppings and a lemon slice delicately balanced on the sugar-coated rim and a flower carved out of ripe papaya, filled with fruit cream.

It was a delicious sight indeed and I didn’t have a single thought before picking up the glass of juice. However, the sight of ripe papaya triggered a whirlwind in my mind which split me into 2.

One said, “I am pregnant! People prohibit eating papaya during pregnancy.” The other countered, “It’s a myth! Unripe papaya is dangerous. Ripe Papaya se kuch nai hota! And see your hubby has made it especially for you.” And in the midst of this fight, my heart whispered, “What if our old grannies are actually right? I cannot put my baby’s life at risk for a pity, pretty papaya.”

And the irrational me had just been born. It was not the end. In fact, with each passing day, it was growing. I gave up pineapples, papaya and everything that any granny, aunty or neighbour remotely mentioned to be the cause of early labor or miscarriage.

And new mom

After the birth of my son, I remember the day my 1-month-old didn’t stop crying. We rocked him, pat him, breastfeed, fed the medicine for colic pains but nothing comforted him. After some 20 minutes of wails and cajoling, for the first time in 27 years of my life, a random thought crossed my mind, “Ise nazar lag gayi hai!” And my helpless, hopeless, maa ka dil just whispered in confirmation, “Let’s try it. Kuch toh kaam kare.”

And that day the maa in me was praying for a pinch of salt and mustard to do their work and make my son comfortable. Irrational? Maybe but that day I realised that only your child’s pain can make you believe in the unbelievable.

Mom to a toddler

And then my son grew up to attend his playschool when one day his van didn’t turn up on the scheduled time to drop the kids. The driver’s cellphone was out of network coverage and the van had started from school at the scheduled time.

Just then the glass water bottle slipped from my hands and shattered into pieces. A glance at those pieces was enough to pace my heart exponentially, with all negative thoughts. “The van must have met with an accident. My son must be profusely bleeding. Would there be someone to take the injured kids to the hospital?” While hiring an auto towards the school, the negative thoughts hovered my mind till I saw his van and my son safe in it.

Trust me, those were the deadliest, scariest 10 minutes of my life and I would have definitely suffered a heart attack if he would have been delayed by another minute.

Such is maa ka dil

However much you tell her that black cat crossing the road or the shattered glass signify no evil, yet it thinks of the worst in case of its occurrence.

A delay of a few minutes can make her think of the scariest and deadliest events.

Her heart melts when her child is in pain.

However strong and high headed one maybe, she falls on her knees to make her child happy and cheerful.

She can merrily walk through the gates of hell to keep her kids safe and feel honored for the same.

She loves them with every power she possesses.

She lets them explore the skies but keeps an eye on them and stands with outstretched arms to catch hold of them if they fall.

Rationally or irrationally, the maa ka dil only and only desires for the well being and happiness for her kids.

A version of this was first published here.

Image source: pixabay

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