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Do Indian households treat their daughters-in-law with respect and love that they deserve? Is it not unfair for a woman stuck in such a sacrificing relationship to live according to her in- laws' traditions?
Recently, when I attended a marriage function, I heard a woman talking about women’s sacrifice after marriage. I kept wondering from that moment why only Indian women have to sacrifice to show love and affection for their in- laws.
Over the years, from my experience, I have seen many cases where husbands compare their wives and tell the importance of sacrificing.
From the list of experiences, one thing that irritates me is putting me in pressure of behaving in a certain way in order to prove that I love and care for his family. Serving the guests and relatives and then eating what is leftover. Mother in law putting pressure to take up fasting for getting family blessings . Waiting for my husband to come home and eat lunch with me even if he comes late after a big traffic jam.
In all the above cases, a woman has to sacrifice her health and live like a robot controlled by the in-laws.
In some cases, I have seen relatives displaying these emotions to show and create unnecessary family issues. These women pride themselves by eating the last roti in the casserole. Serving the whole family fresh food and then eating the previous night’s leftovers. On the contrary, if someone sees the woman eating, she will be labeled with the word self-centered. The same applies to working ladies.
Working women who don’t embrace motherhood or adjust with their in laws are considered self- centered. If you see a woman going out with her friends for lunch or planning a trip, she is also considered self-centered. Going out, enjoying yourself is a part of self care, and it is not about being selfish or self-centered .
Sacrifice is mostly seen among housewives as they are not allowed to convey strong opinions, strong desires, strong ambition, and clear dreams. That is why the whole family teaches them to sacrifice.
Do Indian households treat their daughters-in-law with respect and love that they deserve? Is it not unfair for a woman stuck in such a situaon to live according to her in laws traditions?
Dear Indian women, if your husband truly loves you, he will not keep you waiting to have lunch with him. He will call you immediately when he is busy. He will not demand you to eat or live your life according to his parents’ terms and conditions. Also, it doesn’t make you less of a woman if you put your needs first.
Sacrifice shouldn’t be a habit. You should know where to draw a line. Nobody says that after marriage, you should live according to your husband’s opinions, give up your happiness, and put your children to suffer too.
Do you know that according to Indian statistics 90 percent of women today are deficient in vitamins, leading to serious health issues after marriage. From cracked bones, pregnancy complications, depression, migraine, low immunity, anaemia, low weight, and hormonal imbalance.
Women can eat ‘with’ or ‘after everyone finishes eating, but it is still considered disrespectful by her in laws if she eats first. Sadly, pregnant and lactating mothers are the sufferers. The situation has improved over the years, but there are still some families following this tradition.
If you are sacrificing for the whole family believing still in this blind age old belief I must say that it is not the ultimate way to show your love and care. It may look great and thats what our society expects, the real strength comes when you as a women show that you are a ‘ human.’
So, to all my dear loving Indian women out there, learn to stop sacrificing and take care of yourself and then others.
Image source: YouTube
A Commerce post graduate, now a SAHM and a freelance writer after 12 years of logistics career in Dubai. Writing is my passion.
Fascinated in the world of inspirational and motivational books, a galaxy of read more...
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