Check out the ultimate guide to 16 return-to-work programs in India for women
Women adjust around people, rules, peer pressure, cutting off any remnant of dreams that might fill their soul because the world has been like that always.
I have recently written about a woman, my close friend, how when she changed herself, the environment around her also changed. We always wait to be our authentic self when the environment around us changes. Little do we know that it is actually the other way around.
Have you ever seen a flower that forces it’s way around a concrete pavement or a concrete wall? The plant is so delicate, and the concrete around it so hard, but it’s resilience is what makes it thrive. Life is like that. We are put in situations and no matter how hard the environment we are put there so we can break the barriers and thrive. Do you have that much of resilience to always look up at the sun and your goals. No matter what it is and believing in the yearnings of your soul?
Well, many of the difficult environments that we are stuck in, we do not even know actually it’s difficult.
Women leave their homes after marriage during the ritual of bidaai, crying all the way like a kindergartener, not knowing that this custom is unfair. That it is not natural to pluck away someone from their homes.
Women adjust around people, rules, peer pressure, cutting off any remnant of dreams that might fill their soul because the world has been like that always. No one told them that they come first. That they matter.
Have you ever spoken to someone and that someone never looked up from the screen to listen to what you are saying? Don’t women take these things as negligible because she accepts that the other person has something more important to do than listen to or answer her?
But this is what makes a person feel invisible. How does it feel to be invisible, day in and day out?
How does it feel, when you are in a conversation in a group talking important things and when you speak up saying things making sense like the effect of climate change, current politics or anything intellectual, people in the group look surprised. Because aren’t women, especially home makers meant to be dumb, keeping their business to family and home? It does not matter how much education she must have had or no matter how intellectually inclined she is.
How does it feel, when your opinion does not matter? It makes you feel invisible.
Have you ever been criticised, body shamed, or has someone pointed at your character just because you had dreams? Dreams maybe as simple as going on a night out with your girlfriends for one night a week, just because you needed a break from the cares that you go through the whole week.
How does it make you feel? Unloved and misunderstood.
I have friends who are dentists, architects, civil engineers, who are all adjusting to their environment. All homemakers, all tending to their family with lots of dedication and love. I am not against love or being a homemaker. Without these beautiful warriors at home, the society would run amok without any discipline. Most importantly the world would forget what it’s like to loved and be loved selflessly.
But what about them?
Or maybe we can. By being resilient and not giving up on what drives us.
Just like that wildflower that blooms through the pavement. And when it blooms, people tread gently around it because when it blooms, it changes the pavement from just concrete to something that nourishes life, beauty and love.
I hope someone who reads this, an architect, a dentist, a doctor, an artist, a dancer, a baker or any one who has nurtured a dream for most of her life and is on the verge on giving up because of the environment they are in, give yourself the gift of resilience and keep going.
I hope all your dreams come true.
Image source: a still from the film Monsoon Wedding
A Social Media Content Writer by profession. A writer by heart. A genuine foodie. Simple by nature. Love to read, create paintings and cook. Have impossible dreams. At the moment, engaged in making those dreams read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
If her MIL had accepted her with some affection, wouldn't they have built a mutually happier relationship by now?
The incident took place ten years ago.
Smita could visit her mother only in summers when her daughter had school holidays. Her daughter also enjoyed meeting her Nani, and both of them had done their reservations for a week. A month before their visit, her husband told her, “My mom is coming for 4-5 months!”
Smita shuddered. She knew the repercussions. She would have to hear sarcastic comments from her mother-in-law for visiting her mother. She may make these comments directly only a bit, but her servants would be flooded with the words, “How horrible she is! She leaves me and goes!”
Are we so swayed by star power and the 'entertainment' quotient of cinema that satisfies our carnal instincts that we choose to ignore our own subconscious mind which always knows what is right and what is wrong?
Trigger Warning: This has graphic descriptions of violence and may be triggering to survivors and victims of violence.
Do you remember your first exposure to an extremely violent act or the aftermath of a violent act?
I am pretty sure for most of us it would be through cinema. But I remember very vividly my first exposure to aftermath of an unbelievably grotesque violent act in real life. It was as a student at a Dental College and Hospital.
Please enter your email address