Is Changing Yourself To Be Loved Worth It?

Love. What does it mean to you?

The way I understand love is it is a feeling, the presence of which makes you feel safe, accepted and celebrated for just being you. Maybe just like you love a rose with all its thorns and petals long after it has dried up.

My father was a good-looking man. When he reached his sixties, he started to show a little age on his face. He was good-looking still. One day, he was grooming himself before heading out to his clinic. I was just sitting watching him.

Admiring every part of the person that he is.

I look old, don’t I?

After he checked himself in the mirror, he turned to me with an unsure smile, ‘I look so old now, don’t I?’
I looked at his unsure smile.

I smiled back at him and I thought to myself, ‘No matter how old you grow, what you look like, I will always love you.’

For me, love has always been a safe space. A space where you can be you. Where you can bare your freckles, stretch marks, your insecurities, name anything and still be accepted for who you are. My father taught me that kind of love, and it has remained.

Now, when I look around at the commercials, the expectations to be met and the beauty standard to be maintained to be loved and accepted, I feel so empty. What has the world come to?

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As the saying goes, in a world full of conditions, people are looking for unconditional love.

When did the ‘un’ in unconditional become silent?

Don’t we naturally love a rose with all its thorns? Why is then human love so fragile that the moment a personal expectation is not met or changed, love breaks?

Love is more like a sugar-coated contract.

Have you ever changed yourself to fit into someone’s expectations to be loved? I am not talking about changing for the better here. Well, if you are an alcoholic, and you are trying to get rid of the habit to save a relationship, that is much encouraged.

If you have, do you think it is worth it?

Food for thought?

Image source: Rodane Productions, via pexels, free and edited on CanvaPro

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