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Women are NOT natural nurturers – girls are conditioned from birth, that they are born to nurture others. Let them have a choice, like all human beings should have.
It was Wednesday afternoon amidst work when I came across an exemplar story of a proud couple being shared on LinkedIn where the wife shares her happiness of having a husband who intends to treat his daughter like an angel.
To my disappointment, it was not just a story being shared by one HR professional, but also a story that “influenced around 20,000 people positively”. An ideal father figure was demonstrated, and thousands agreed and celebrated the spirit. May I dive deeper into the spirit now?
A pregnant woman to her husband: What do you want, a boy or a girl?
Husband: If we have a boy I will teach him maths and sports and so on.
Wife: haha, what if its a girl?
Yes, the choice of maths and sports for son caught my attention. It did indicate the gender literacy of husband but let’s discuss that later. Moving on,
Husband: I don’t have to teach her anything, because she will be the one who will teach me again. Like how to dress, how to eat, what to say, what not to say. In short she will be my second mom, and will consider me as her hero even if I do not do anything special, she will always understand me when I will refuse her for something. She will always compare her husband to be me. No matter how old she will be, she will always want that I should treat her like my baby. She will fight with the world for me and if someone will hurt me, she will never forgive that person.
Yes, you read that right. A kid who is yet to land in this world is supposed to teach ‘the father’ how to eat properly, dress properly and hand over a demonstrated communication manual as well.
I thought parenting was otherwise.
Note to kid: tu andar hi reh boss.
Wife: So you mean to say your daughter will do all those things but your son will not?
Husband: No No! Maybe he will do the same but he will learn to do them. But daughters are born with it. Being the father of a daughter is the pride of any man.
Wife: But she will not be with us forever!
Husband: But we will be with her, in her heart forever. So it really doesn’t make any difference where she goes.
Daughters are like Angels!
Who are born with unconditional Love and Care.. Forever.
Take a look at this screenshot:
Pardon me. I had assumed a father has the same expectations regardless of gender.
Ok, so ‘Son’ seems to get ‘parents’. ‘Daughter’ is a different story altogether!
Note to ‘GIRL’ Kid: tu andar hi reh boss.
May I ask why a ‘to-be-father’ years old man needs a second mother in his life?
And if so is the need, why not of a second father as well?
May I ask why is there entitlement of being treated as a ‘hero’ when you don’t even seek to do any special efforts from your side?
May I ask why the man has a need to be protected under the umbrella of a daughter yet to be born?
Note to the wife: You could have planned kids later. Please get husband admitted to high school of emotional well-being!
And yourself too, if his words are a matter of pride for you.
The soaring number of likes on the post, the downpour of ‘relatable’ parents who appeared in the comments gave me a scale enough to worry about.
“Daughters are naturally loving and caring. Sons are not”
“A woman brings an aura of love and soul of mother even with friends and at work”
“Girls are naturally inclined to keep it clean and tidy”
“Women are soft spoken”
I hear them everyday by men and women of all ages.
“Women are like goddess” – I see it in the spirit of Navratris and other festivals, in the soul of government policies and where not.
No, women are none of that. It is the conditioning of thousands of years where women have been forced, expected to be nurturer that makes them do it.
Imagine a girl coming out of womb being taught from the next day to grow up into a care-giving figure. The kid in that vulnerable age, when the lessons to absorb lessons have been restricted, and redirected to be nothing but a role model of ‘unconditional love’.
What else do you expect her to do unless exposed to an environment of choice which is sharp enough to penetrate beyond your patriarchal hold!
It is not natural. For eons, the expected nature is forced, is added and blended into genes. Generations after generations have planned, conspired and put in processes for women to act as a care giver. The rebels have been muted, boycotted, and killed.
Treating women like humans is what we demand. Humans make mistakes, they can fail to love and care.
‘Maybe he (son) will do the same but he will learn to do them’ has enough space for the son to breathe. Let daughters have the same.
Stop creating slaves in the name of goddess and angels!
Image source: pixabay
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