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One of them said, "I think the mom should spend her time paying attention to her child's upbringing instead of dressing up and applying makeup."
Wearing neatly pressed clothes that look attractive with accessories that match and a lovely hair-do—all these give a general sense of well-being for a woman. The truth is, a woman doesn’t just dress to impress others. It is an essential step towards self-love and body positivity.
But I was quite shocked to find out that people could find fault with that too.
I knew a woman from a known circle who used to dress up elegantly. Whether it was dropping off her child to school, heading to the grocery shop, or hitting the gym, she had a perfect outfit on, matching accessories, and an enviable hair-do.
She had such a pleasing personality and socialized well with everyone. She never gossiped or spoke ill about others. Her child had some kind of learning disability and behavioural disorder.
As a mother, I’m sure she faced a lot of challenges, but she rarely discussed them with anyone.
One day after a meeting at school, when I heard a group of ladies gossiping about her, I was taken aback. There seemed to be a lot of complaints against the child. But more than the child, the child’s mom seemed to be at the crux of the discussion.
I heard one of them saying, “I think the mom should spend her time paying attention to her child’s upbringing instead of dressing up and applying makeup.”
Another one added, “Why is she trying to seek everyone’s attention by giving importance to her physical appearance?”
Someone even said, “She’s just a housewife and spends half her husband’s earnings to deck up her wardrobe.”
Others had so many other baseless points to add.
I wondered how women could let down another woman from their tribe. They needn’t have sympathized with her, but the least they could’ve done was not pass disparaging remarks against her. Just because she did not discuss her problems openly with others, how could one conclude that she didn’t care for her child?
Was she supposed to dress miserably and look unhappy just because her child had problems at school?
Now, this brought up another question. What about the child’s dad? Why wasn’t he brought up in the discussion?
Not a word against him—not that he was responsible, but still. Why was the mom unapologetically blamed for all the problems that seemed to concern the child?
It’s high time we stop associating a woman’s personal dressing choices/interests with a child’s upbringing. The least that can be done to support another woman is by remaining silent instead of mindlessly blaming her for the challenge that her child is facing.
Also, let us understand that both parents are equally responsible for a child’s upbringing, and not just the mother. Unless we change our ideologies, we will never be able to evolve as a society.
Image source: Triloks via Getty Images, free and edited on CanvaPro
A freelance storyteller and a writer by passion. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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