What Does A Woman’s Clothes Have To Do With A Child’s Upbringing?

One of them said, "I think the mom should spend her time paying attention to her child's upbringing instead of dressing up and applying makeup."

Wearing neatly pressed clothes that look attractive with accessories that match and a lovely hair-do—all these give a general sense of well-being for a woman. The truth is, a woman doesn’t just dress to impress others. It is an essential step towards self-love and body positivity.

But I was quite shocked to find out that people could find fault with that too.

I knew a woman from a known circle who used to dress up elegantly. Whether it was dropping off her child to school, heading to the grocery shop, or hitting the gym, she had a perfect outfit on, matching accessories, and an enviable hair-do.

She had such a pleasing personality and socialized well with everyone. She never gossiped or spoke ill about others. Her child had some kind of learning disability and behavioural disorder.

As a mother, I’m sure she faced a lot of challenges, but she rarely discussed them with anyone.

Gossip mongers had a lot to say about her!

One day after a meeting at school, when I heard a group of ladies gossiping about her, I was taken aback. There seemed to be a lot of complaints against the child. But more than the child, the child’s mom seemed to be at the crux of the discussion.

I heard one of them saying, “I think the mom should spend her time paying attention to her child’s upbringing instead of dressing up and applying makeup.”

Another one added, “Why is she trying to seek everyone’s attention by giving importance to her physical appearance?”

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Someone even said, “She’s just a housewife and spends half her husband’s earnings to deck up her wardrobe.”

Others had so many other baseless points to add.

I wondered how women could let down another woman from their tribe. They needn’t have sympathized with her, but the least they could’ve done was not pass disparaging remarks against her. Just because she did not discuss her problems openly with others, how could one conclude that she didn’t care for her child?

Was she supposed to dress miserably and look unhappy just because her child had problems at school?

What about the dad?

Now, this brought up another question. What about the child’s dad? Why wasn’t he brought up in the discussion?

Not a word against him—not that he was responsible, but still. Why was the mom unapologetically blamed for all the problems that seemed to concern the child?

Time to break preconceived notions

It’s high time we stop associating a woman’s personal dressing choices/interests with a child’s upbringing. The least that can be done to support another woman is by remaining silent instead of mindlessly blaming her for the challenge that her child is facing.

Also, let us understand that both parents are equally responsible for a child’s upbringing, and not just the mother. Unless we change our ideologies, we will never be able to evolve as a society.

Image source: Triloks via Getty Images, free and edited on CanvaPro

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Gowri Bhargav

A freelance storyteller and a writer by passion. read more...

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