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Women who choose to stay at home have multiple responsibilities over them. Yet they are unpaid and constantly overworked.
How many of you have heard this phrase – ‘You are a nobody, just a housewife?’ I am sure more than enough women have heard it over the years and continue to hear it even today.
Sadly, even in this day and time, people who claim to be the cool and educated ones manage to remain uneducated in their minds. Calling someone ‘just a housewife,’ seems like an insult, doesn’t it? But, trust me, it isn’t! It’s just the other person trying to pull you down while not realising what a strong term ‘housewife/homemaker’ is!
I spoke to a few people who said that they did feel sad when someone called them a housewife or a homemaker to insult them. Every time something like this happens, I am sure you start feeling like you are incapable of doing other things. It isn’t because people are trying to insult you and feel better about themselves. I think it is because you definitely are affected by what the people are saying. It still amazes how shallow people can get to insult someone else.
Being a homemaker doesn’t mean you don’t work! Work, work and more work are all that a homemaker does. You are the first one to wake up every morning and the last one to go to bed and you do it all without a single leave or an off!
In my opinion, it is certain women and men who make a hue and cry about women being homemakers. Equality is being misunderstood by these people. They seem to misunderstand feminism and believe that being a feminist is all about dominating men. But that isn’t what it is!
Feminism is and has always been all about wanting equality for everyone, regardless of their gender. It isn’t about dominating men or being the superior gender. And I believe it is this belief that makes people dislike feminists.
Feminism doesn’t ask you to hate men or say that women are superior to men! I am a feminist but it doesn’t mean I don’t have a husband and a family. Neither does it mean that I only care about myself. I am a feminist and I am completely against society’s belief that women are only child-bearing machines who must only cook and clean the house!
Also, why can’t men be feminists too? There are several men I know who are feminists and are proud of their wives and daughters for everything they do. These are the men who don’t just ‘help’ women with household chores but actually divide the work and make it an equal division of tasks.
I have always loved Maya Angelou’s poems on women and their power:
“You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I’ll rise.”
This is for those men who always put women down and try to stick them under their shoes.
Being a housewife doesn’t mean that anyone can put them down. They may never express it but the feelings of the homemakers are just as valid as yours! These are the women who silently do it all and often have to crush their own ambitions to fuel yours!
The only problem in choosing to be a homemaker in the 21st century is the judgement that comes with it! Why is it so insulting to be a stay-at-home mom? And why is one perceived as an uneducated woman if she chooses to stay at home and take care of her own family?
Just because we stay at home, doesn’t mean we are uneducated or illiterate! Some of us have left our jobs in order to stay at home and take care of our families, on our own will. Everyone has their priorities and preferences. Some prefer staying at home while others prefer balancing their home and work life.
We really need to respect every woman and her choice to choose what she wants to do – whether it is staying at home or going out to work.
I believe people will treat you how you let them treat you. Women who choose to stay at home have multiple responsibilities over them. Yet they are unpaid and constantly overworked.
A woman cannot be defined by her position, job, salary or even duties. Just like ‘working women,’ we also have new challenges every day. Women have the ability to work wonders both at her house and at her workplace. It’s time we respected her and her choices. And treated her as an equal, irrespective of what she does!
What do you think?
Picture credits: Still from Marathi TV series Agga Bai Sasubai
Writer, Mehak Varun, is the author of three books - THE HUMANE QUEST(volume-1,2 &3), published by Authorspress, New Delhi. It is a QUEST for HUMANITY. She is born and brought up in read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
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14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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