Starting A New Business? 7 Key Points To Keep In Mind.
Most Indian men still want a bride who is fair skinned, younger than them, less educated than them, well trained in household and daughter in law duties. Will they encourage her dreams?
I happened to watch a Tamil movie Ghatta Kusthi recently.
The hero of the movie is a 7th pass and is reasonably wealthy. He is shown to be jobless and on the lookout for a suitable bride. However he has two conditions – the words ‘unreasonable’ and ‘illogical’ to describe these conditions would be an understatement in my opinion.
He wants the woman he weds to have long hair that can be braided all the way down to the hip and also, her educational qualification should not exceed 7th std.
The heroine of the movie is a wrestler and a graduate – not a stereotypical village belle usually portrayed. She is not willing to marry someone with unreasonable demands. However due to extreme pressure from the family she agrees. And how does she meet the hero’s demand? By lying of course!
The girl’s family lie that she had studied only until 7th grade and attach false hair to impress the prospective groom. They eventually get married. Unfortunately the girl buries all her dreams once she gets married and diligently fulfills wifely duties.
At one point, the cat is out of the bag. The husband comes to know she is a wrestler when she rescues him from the enemies. While on one hand he is shocked to find that her long hair is false, on the other hand, he is drowned in shame since it is his wife who drives away the enemies with her exceptional wrestling skills. That she is a graduate seems to drown the husband further deep. Ego clashes and disagreements that follow, push them far apart.
Thankfully, towards the end of the movie the husband realizes that all his preconceived notions about an ‘ideal wife’ are wrong. He apologizes openly and encourages her to pursue her dreams. The ending definitely brought some solace to my heart.
However, the movie made me think loud about our society as a large.
Even in today’s world I feel the stereotypical definition of an ideal woman still exists.
Fair skin, soft-spoken, young, well-educated but a degree lower than the husband – the list is endless. And does every husband put his mental blocks and societal pressure aside to encourage his wife’s dreams?
In my own circles, I have seen affluent, well-educated parents of prospective grooms listing out several conditions. Some even go to the extent of strictly stating that the girl should sacrifice her career and passions after marriage.
Change in mindset is only possible when we as a society work towards raising our voice against such prevailing trends. Marriage should result in union of two hearts and mutual upliftment of each other rather than sacrificing and burying one’s dreams all together.
A freelance storyteller and a writer by passion. read more...
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There are many mountains I need to climb just to be, just to live my life, just to have my say... because they are mountains you've built to oppress women.
Trigger Warning: This deals with various kinds of violence against women including rape, and may be triggering for survivors.
I haven’t climbed a literal mountain yet
Was busy with the metaphorical ones – born a woman
Fighting for the air that should have come free
And I am one of the privileged ones, I realize that
Yet, if I get passionate, just like you do
I will pay for it – with burden, shame, – and possibly a life to carry
So, my mountains are the laws you overturn
My mountains are the empty shelves where there should have been pills
When people picked my dadi to place her on the floor, the sheet on why she lay tore. The caretaker came to me and said, ‘Just because you touched her, one of the men carrying her lost his balance.’
The death of my grandmother shattered me. We shared a special bond – she made me feel like I was the best in the world, perfect in every respect.
Apart from losing a person who I loved, her death was also a rude awakening for me about the discrimination women face when it comes to performing the last rites of their loved ones.
On January 23 this year, I lost my 95 year old grandmother (dadi) Nirmala Devi to cardiac arrest. She was that one person who unabashedly praised me. The evening before her death she praised the tea I had made and said that I make better tea than my brother (my brother and I are always competing about who makes the best chai).
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