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Today’s Resolution Is Tomorrow’s Nightmare: Just Ask My Husband!

Resolutions are always top priority on New Year’s Day. However, there is one resolution that gets my husband’s goat is when I vow to— Clean, the entire house, and he begins to have nightmares of his important papers going missing!

“Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” Mark Twain

Resolutions are always top priority on New Year’s Day. After a hectic shovelling of food into one’s interior across the Christmas —New Year week, it is time to think of the four-letter-word that looms in the horizon – Diet.

After celebration, comes guilt!

Most resolutions are taken after the groaning and the moaning that appear once the binges are done – those sinful plum cakes oozing with rum, the deep-fried spring rolls, samosas and cutlets which accompany every meal.

And of course, the divine menus replete with chana bhatura, aloo parathas, gulab jamuns and malai koftas that lead one straight to culinary heaven.

As the old quote goes — “Eat, drink and make merry, for tomorrow you shall die” that has been slightly amended to end with ‘diet’ instead.

I will work out, from tomorrow!

Hangovers and indigestion apart, one’s burgeoning waistline and the struggle to contain those extra kilos point towards the next resolution – Exercise.

The maximum number of gym memberships bring a twinkle in the eye of many a gym owner who has been trying to catch up with prospective members.

The determined make a beeline to the nearest gym, the not-so-enthusiastic prefer to stroll on their terraces, and the laid-back lie back and gaze at trainers with well-toned bodies walk a mile in fifteen minutes or dance for all they are worth to rambunctious Punjabi numbers.

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An ideal arrangement might not be beneficial in this matter

My husband and I took two minutes to pinpoint our respective resolutions. The whole year around, we had been compensating for each other—he would walk for me, and I would read for him. Not that either of us have benefitted in the least!

This morning, we decided that I will WALK as well as I can, and he will READ more than a page before falling asleep at night. By mid-year, we expect to recoup and re-engineer, if our will power lasts that long!

I look for joy in folded clothes

The Marie Kondo within me raises its head, on and off, as I get into a flurry of folding my clothes with utmost reverence and adoration, whispering a heartfelt— ‘Thank You’ to each item as I lovingly lay it to rest.

I iron my bedsheets and pillowcases, place them in blissful order, and fold my T-shirts into tight rolls to save space.

Notwithstanding the fact that my poor better half, fed up with having his clothes in one tiny section of his so-called wardrobe, while my apparel took pride of place in all the remaining ones in the house — got a carpenter to create giant wardrobes just so I could place all my belongings in them without trespassing into his territory.

However, on the days I fuel my Kondo avatar, I gaze into the vast expanse within with utmost pride. Three days later, Kondo is exorcized, and I descend into chaos all over again. As a rule, that resolution does not last beyond three days.

Yet I continue to make resolution!

One would think the above resolutions would be quite enough to last a year, even if they do not.

However, the one that gets my husband’s goat is when I vow to— Clean, the entire house, and he begins to have nightmares of his important papers, his phone charger, the house keys and his socks disappearing into a black hole that exists in our home.

That usually happens when we have guests over and the clean-up lasts till two minutes before they arrive. Which is when all visible objects that do not belong in our public spaces are hurled into the bottom of the nearest drawer, or wedged deep under our beds where they languish, often never seeing the light of day thereafter.

And there is another!

Just when I think I should wind up this post, another resolution makes its way towards me, launched by my better half. “This year, we must Eat more fish— Omega-3, you know!”

I peep in to see what he is up to and find him watching a cookery show where— ‘fish is the hero’, a term made popular by MasterChef Australia. Not too difficult a resolution to stick to, given that there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Resolutions may come and resolutions may go, but they will continue to be broken forever. After all, you know what they say — “A New Year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.”

Image source: Instants via  Getty Images, free on CanvaPro

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About the Author

Deepti Menon

Words have always played a vital role in my life. Short stories, poetry, humorous pieces or full-length novels... I love them all! Having been an Army brat and later wife, as well as a read more...

16 Posts | 46,082 Views

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