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Does only a super clean house make a worthy woman? What if I wanted to do more fulfilling things instead of dusting and mopping everyday?
My mother surprised me with a visit this month. I was overwhelmed to see her and we both hugged as she entered my home. It had been a long time since she saw me.
On entering, the first thing she said was,“You don’t take care of yourself, see how thin you look.”
I smiled and said, “Mom, I am not thin, see! How wonderfully I have maintained myself.”
“Haan-Hann today’s girls…”, she began and then stopped all of sudden. Her smile faded and I saw her eyes examining my house.
“What is this Ritu? Your house looks scattered and unorganized. There are toys all over the floor. There is a layer of dirt settled on this vase. The ceiling fans are so dirty, as if haven’t cleaned since a few months.”
“Mom please don’t start all this. I was very exhausted last night, so I went directly to sleep without assembling the toys. I had cleaned this vase just the day before yesterday, and can’t you see I am not tall enough to reach the ceiling fan to clean them, even with the help of a stool? Rohit has promised to help me as soon as he gets free,” I said.
“Do not give me excuses Ritu. You should keep your house clean. Anyone can come anytime. What if your mother-in-law would have come, instead of me? She would have loaded you with taunts,” my mom said as she got picking up the toys.
“Mummy its 6 AM. The day has just started. Soon Nevaan will get up, I have to cook for him, make breakfast and lunch. I can’t just jump on to cleaning my house. After completing the important household work, I give an hour daily to clean and dust the house. Leave the toys, I will pick them up later. Have a cup of tea,” I said.
My mom gave me an angry look, as she sipped her tea, sitting on the sofa.
“You are a lazy homemaker Ritu. Just look at me. I used to get up at 5 am. I never kept a maid and did all the cleaning, sweeping and dusting by myself. After making breakfast, I would send you and your brother to school, and your father to office. I used to clean the sofa, kitchen platform, dining table, fridge and flower vases every day. Every month I would clean the ceiling fans, drawers, cupboards, and shelves. My house would dazzle like a diamond. I thought you would be my shadow, but you aren’t”, my mother complained.
I remained silent for a few minutes and then broke my silence, “I am sorry mom. I am not your shadow and I never want to be. I do not want to spend my 50 years just cleaning my house and waiting for someone to come and appreciate me. I have many other things to do. I am a doctor. I give 2 hours daily to my clinic, I am a writer and in spite of wasting my time in cleaning a already cleaned house.
I would prefer writing some masterpiece. I am ambitious and I have to push my career. I am a mother who wants to play with her child, and to help him with his homework rather than picking his toys every half hour. I am a wife who just can’t spend her whole time serving her husband, cleaning his clothes and making his bed. I want to go with him on a long drive and candle light dinner. I am a human being who prefers to sleep when exhausted, rather than picking up toys before going to bed.
I love you mom for whatever you did for us. But mom, I can’t be you. I have many important things to do than to waste 6 hours of a day and 50 years of my life cleaning my home. Cleaning can wait for some time. The bed can be made a little later, but I don’t want to miss precious moments in my life, nor can I compromise with my health.
Twenty five years I have spent with you. It was only occasionally that someone would visit you uninformed and suddenly. In my case, if someone comes, including my mother in law, I really don’t bother what they think or how they judge me on seeing a few scattered toys, clothes or little dust on flower vases.
I am proud of myself because I am a friendly wife and a caring mom. I am good doctor and an appreciated writer. I am happy and contented with these titles.”
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A passionate writer. Homeopathic physician and nutritionist by profession read more...
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I huffed, puffed and panted up the hill, taking many rest breaks along the way. My calf muscles pained, my heart protested, and my breathing became heavy at one stage.
“Let’s turn back,” my husband remarked. We stood at the foot of Shravanbelagola – one of the most revered Jain pilgrimage centres. “We will not climb the hill,” he continued.
My husband and I were vacationing in Karnataka. It was the month of May, and even at the early hour of 8 am in the morning, the sun scorched our backs. After visiting Bangalore and Mysore, we had made a planned stop at this holy site in the Southern part of the state en route to Hosur. Even while planning our vacation, my husband was very excited at the prospect of visiting this place and the 18 m high statue of Lord Gometeshwara, considered one of the world’s tallest free-standing monolithic statues.
What we hadn’t bargained for was there would be 1001 granite steps that needed to be climbed to have a close-up view of this colossal magic three thousand feet above sea level on a hilltop. It would be an understatement to term it as an arduous climb.
Every daughter, no matter how old, yearns to come home to her parents' place - ‘Home’ to us is where we were brought up with great care till marriage served us an eviction notice.
Every year Dugga comes home with her children and stays with her parents for ten days. These ten days are filled with fun and festivity. On the tenth day, everyone gathers to feed her sweets and bids her a teary-eyed adieu. ‘Dugga’ is no one but our Goddess Durga whose annual trip to Earth is scheduled in Autumn. She might be a Goddess to all. But to us, she is the next-door girl who returns home to stay with her parents.
When I was a child, I would cry on the day of Dashami (immersion) and ask Ma, “Why can’t she come again?” My mother would always smile back.
I mouthed the same dialogue as a 23-year-old, who was home for Durga Puja. This time, my mother graced me with a reply. “Durga is fortunate to come home at least once. But many have never been home after marriage.”
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