The Weirdness Within: A Poem On Marriage And Gender Roles

'My in-laws are too great,' she said, 'They — "allow" me to wear jeans even though I am wed....' Another one said her husband was too good, 'He sometimes even cooks his own food!'

‘My in-laws are too great,’ she said, ‘They— “allow” me to wear jeans even though I am wed…’

Another one said her husband was too good, ‘He sometimes even cooks his own food…’

Both of them were working, I thought,

One of them earned higher than her husband, does she not?

Then why this general notion of, ‘being allowed,’ — why is cooking and cleaning only the wife’s job?

Why this ignorance, why no awareness?

Aren’t the women empowered, or are they their husbands’ governess ?

‘When you will marry you will know,’ I got a reply befitting

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Do they want me to have the same issues they face? I thought there sitting…

The problem lies in the age-old notion of the differences in gender,

The wife wears a saree and sindoor, and is constantly the bender…

The husband is the stronger one, the mighty and the lord,

Their sensitiveness is a weakness, it is a general concord.

Doesn’t this difference harm both of them, and yet they readily agree,

I feared marriage more and more and when I hear, ‘Wedding,’ I flee…

Then another friend of mine got married and somehow made me meet her,

She was a homemaker looking for a job, and I was afraid to talk further…

But when she told the story of her house, she said, ‘My husband and I fight like siblings.’

Her in-laws are like her parents, and the next part to many will sting…

Her in-laws and parents divided the expenses and gifted her their heirlooms.

Spending was minimal, and she was happy, and there was no sight of a doom…

What I realized is to get over differences and accept people as they are,

The notion of manliness and femininity are way too old and sour.

The secret is to be happy and never mean any harm and do your work and be yourself and always keep ‘KAAM SE KAAM’.

Image source: 1001Nights via Getty Images, free on CanvaPro

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Dr Arushi

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