8 Ways To Ask Dowry In India! Parents Watch Out!

Demands for dowry has evolved with time, here are 8 ways, potential in-laws ask dowry in India, under the guise of polite language!

Demands for dowry has evolved with time, here are 8 ways, potential in-laws ask dowry in India, under the guise of polite language!

Many of my friends (guys) have told me that they don’t support dowry. But “gifts” are okay. Some refuse dowry altogether and understand that “gifts” are indeed dowry. And some still want it, and more and more of it.

Among girls, the debate is similarly conflicted. Some want a lavish wedding and dowry in order to enhance their status. Yet others want none and are hostile about it (I am one of them.)

However, in this modern world I have observed some ways in which the society have changed the norms (for the worse) and have devised innovative ways to ask for it, without attracting a lawsuit. Let us discuss some of them:

How do people ask for dowry the modern way?

  • Let your relatives ask for it, (or else case can be issued against you as it’s a crime)

My friend Mana who was in a relationship with this guy, had the guy’s uncle who was an ex IAS officer ask for dowry as the guy’s parents were “very shy and innocent” to ask anything themselves!! Pressure much!

  • Make an excuse showing your own pathetic home

For example: hamare yaha fridge nhi hai aapki beti ko problem hogi, we don’t have fridge in hour home, your daughter will have difficulty!

One of my friend’s would be nanad, sister-in-law, called his father periodically saying,

“How will Bhabhi live here, there’s no TV”— TV dispatched.

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”There’s no AC”— AC dispatched.

“Well, there’s no electricity”— generator dispatched

And the demands go on and on.

  • Don’t ask immediately, wait for a few days, so that the in laws think that you are “shareef,” decent!

People remain calm and composed when they meet, even till a few months, and then state their demands. It can be affirmative like “She will bring her own bed, right?”, or it goes something like, “Our son really likes a BMW”.

  • Buy a flat in your son’s name, ask your daughter-in-law’s family to furnish the flat, but right before the wedding, so they can’t refuse.

Classic move to show that we are giving a flat, now your turn for everything else. Now the thing is, the girl’s family didn’t ask for a flat nor did they desire it, so why should they be the ones furnishing it at all?

  • We come asking for “Gifts”

So basically, everything is a gift, because we indeed gift our friends and relatives on their birthday too. But how many of us gift cars to them??

  • The ultimate excuse of the daughters in the family

We have a daughter to be wed, so we need stuff/ we had a daughter on whose wedding we spent a lot, so we need stuff.

To put it simply: we are hungry for money and show off.

  • We just have one son

 So the families bred a son to ultimately sell him? (Better to have a daughter only then.) Also, the expenses borne on son is to be got from the girl’s parents in most cases and this is also used as an excuse.

  • No gifts, no money, only the wedding in a 5-star hotel

Also, this is that kind of “free ki shaadi” for which the daughter-in-law can be taunted for life that she never brought anything from her father’s house.

The list of course is inexhaustible as the in laws have indeed devised very innovative and versatile methods of asking for dowry and masking it effectively.

We as a society need to stop!

We as a society have indeed gone retard in many ways, and we need to buck up. Yes, families indeed love spending on weddings, but “demanding” in any form is a sin (even according to law) and should be avoided.

I have seen some very heartfelt scenes in movies and even in real life when the woman or even the couple together refused dowry and set up an example. This is the kind of people we all should cherish and strive to hold high in the society.

PS: Do share some of the innovative ways you found of the dowry asking methods and spread awareness in order to observe the early signs and avoid such sham at all costs.

Image source: Still from Roshay, Made In Heaven, edited on CanvaPro

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Dr Arushi

Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.. read more...

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