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Wedding expenses are just the money spent on a “party thrown for nosy relatives and friends”, often without your consent/knowledge/awareness. What stays in your hands as the daughter?
Photo by AMISH THAKKAR on Unsplash
Being a woman, you must have heard talks about your wedding since the time you can remember. You must have heard that there’s a lot of work to be done and how much of a burden a “girl’s wedding” in particular is. But is it really?
If you do a google search for a pie chart or any list of wedding expenses, around 40-50% of the expense is on venue and food. The groom’s family gets 20-30%, and the girl’s attire and jewellery is maybe 10% which includes jewellery for her in laws and husband as well in most cases.
And when it comes to inheritance, the son gets it all. Again i am talking about most cases, not all, but how many of you have seen your girl friends getting a share in the property or getting the jewellery or sarees she likes? May be 2-3 out of 100s of friends you know. And the worst part is that ultimately the girl is blamed for “the money spent at your wedding “ and the groom is free as a bird. This again creates a difficult situation for girl child in India which gave rise to foeticide in the first place.
So now the wedding is done, people happily return to their homes with all the gifts and the lavish ceremony they saw. The bride is at the groom’s house and yet she’s not happy! Why? Because she’s constantly being compared to some random person who spent more and got more gifts during their wedding.
Our dear bride wasn’t enough at her parents house and neither is she at her in laws.
Some people might tell me that it was the thing of the past and people are more mature then ever, but being in a small city I rarely see this. What i see is: The constant “taanas” about less stuff and jewellery, MIL simply keeping all of the DIL’s jewellery, the bride being harassed from day one, whatever she knows to cook or whenever she wakes up she’s never early.
It is said that the bride is the queen, and you must have heard terms like “Bridezilla”, but sadly “sasuralzilla” makes no sense and nor will it ever. Because “ladke wale hai to natak to karenge hi, dulhan ko sharmila hona chahye”(the groom’s side is entitled to do drama, whereas the bride should be shy). And one of the worst parts is that the bride’s father who is so burdened with debt due to a wedding is doing so happily without knowing if their daughter is happy, and ends up blaming her in the end. Is it fair?
Dear girls, we are destined to believe that marriage is the happiest day of our lives. My mother once told me that the happiest day of her life was when she got her PhD around 27 years after marriage. This statement would’ve raised eyebrows outside but in our home we were all very proud.
Girls, whenever you get married, just calculate your expenses and you will see the irony. People are obviously allowed to do what they want and spend what they like, what they are not allowed is to taunt the bride or her family about “spending too much” or “too little”, or comparing the expenses to someone else’s, and this should be unacceptable to every bride!
Just remember one thing, NO ONE can blame you for the money spent on a “party thrown for nosy relatives and friends” without your consent/knowledge/awareness. Don’t ever take that blame on you because you got barely 10% of the wedding budget on you, and someone else’s false prestige is not your responsibility. Just be happy and enjoy your day in whatever way you deem fit and plan ahead.. it helps a lot..:)
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