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It's true that patriarchy has been most harmful to women, trapped by their gender. But men are also trapped by their gender, even if they enjoy a huge amount of privilege.
Patriarchy is not only stopping women from achieving greater heights but also restraining men from growing. There are many examples in our life where we can notice such impacts. Here I am explaining a few examples as per my experiences.
“Mard ko dard nahi hota”, most men grew up hearing this.
Dard sab ko hota hai yaar!
Everyone can feel the pain, whether it’s a woman or a man.
While growing up, I rarely saw my dad, brother and other men in my family crying or expressing pain. And I always wondered why so? Don’t they feel any pain?
The truth is – they are as emotionally vulnerable as we women are. They have feelings too. It’s just that they hide everything behind their mask of masculinity, which is dangerous to not only them but everyone close to them.
Their bottled-up emotions come out negatively and can ruin the entire family.
Dear men, it’s okay to cry sometimes. Crying is proven to be good for our emotional wellness. It’s better to sometimes vent it out in tears rather than bottling it up for long and bursting like a hot air balloon.
I respect my father a lot, but like most males in our Indian society, he lacks expressing himself emotionally. I never had any heart-to-heart conversation with him in my life. It was my mom with whom I shared everything.
I don’t blame him for this, as men from his generation were like this only. However, there are still many males who feel the same way.
Being emotional is not a sign of weakness or femininity guys. Not showing your emotions doesn’t make you a strong being.
Your partner really wants to know what lies in your heart. A heart-to-heart conversation with your partner can make your relationship stronger and better.
Like many other males, my father and brother lacked the skill of cooking. Their mothers couldn’t see them in the kitchen when other women were around.
Well, this has not only harmed their life partners as they had a lack of support at home, but it also harmed them because they were helpless when they had to do such things.
For instance, my brother suffered in college as he didn’t know how to cook. Also, when my mother is not at home, my father gets worried about who will feed him.
Cooking, cleaning and other household chores are life skills and are not just meant for one particular gender. Not knowing these basic life skills can make you helpless when a situation arises.
You have to understand that most women are working outside now, and they cannot be available 24×7 to meet your demands. It’s good to know how to cook at least. It will help you as well as your partner.
Why can’t you go in the kitchen and cook when she can go out and work?
This notion is getting debunked now. However, there are still many men who feel this way.
Telling your daughter that we cannot accept your money, relying only on your husband or son for managing finances, and not preparing the women of the house for a future financial crisis are all the signs of this behaviour.
Financial stability in the house should be the responsibility of both partners, like managing household chores.
Don’t drain yourself with the financial burden men!
Instead, educate your daughter and wife to be capable of being financially independent. Women going out for work is not just good for women. It can relieve you from extreme financial stress too.
Caring for parents is the responsibility of all kids of all genders. A recent ruling by the Bombay High Court has stated that a married daughter is obligated to maintain her parents too. Under Section 125(1)(d) of the Code of Criminal Procedure, courts have the right to compel someone to maintain their parents provided that they have sufficient means to do so.
It’s time to leave our patriarchal upbringing behind us and move forward to build an equal world. That’s the right approach to developing a society which is equal for all.
Image source: a still from the film Udaan
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I love to write and travel. Can't do without these two. I am on Women's Web because I appreciate women and I want them to be heard. This is a wonderful platform where read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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What I loved was how there is so much in the movie of the SRK we have known, and also a totally new star. The gestures, the smile, the wit and the charisma are all too familiar, but you also witness a rawness, an edginess.
When a movie that got the entire nation in a twist – for the right and wrong reasons – hits the theatres, there is bound to be noise. From ‘I am going to watch it – first day first show’ to ‘Boycott the movie and make it a flop’, social media has been a furore of posts.
Let me get one thing straight here – I did not watch Pathaan to make a statement or to simply rebel as people would put it. I went to watch it for the sheer pleasure of witnessing my favourite superstar in all his glory being what he is best at being – his magnificent self. Because when it comes to screen presence, he burns it, melts it and then resurrects it as well like no other. Because when it comes to style and passion, he owns it like a boss. Because SRK is, in a way, my last connecting point to the girl that I once was. Though I have evolved into so many more things over the years, I don’t think I am ready to let go of that girl fully yet.
There is no elephant in the room really here because it’s a fact that Bollywood has a lot of cleaning up to do. Calling out on all the problematic aspects of the industry is important and in doing that, maintaining objectivity is also equally imperative. I went for Pathaan for entertainment and got more than I had hoped for. It is a clever, slick, witty, brilliantly packaged action movie that delivers what it promises to. Logic definitely goes flying out of the window at times and some scenes will make you go ‘kuch bhi’ , but the screenplay clearly reminds you that you knew all along what you were in for. The action sequences are lavish and someone like me who is not exactly a fan of this genre was also mind blown.
A new Gallup poll reveals that up to 40% of Indian women are angry compared to 27% of men. This is a change from 29% angry women and 28% angry men 10 years ago, in 2012.
Indian women are praised as ‘susheel’, virtuous and to be emulated when they are obedient, ready to serve others and when they put the wishes of others before their own. However, Indian women no longer seem content to be in the constrictive mould that the patriarchy has fashioned for them. A Gallup poll looked at the issue of women’s anger, their worry, stress, sadness and found that women consistently feel these emotions more than men, particularly in India.
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