Our ‘Budhape Ka Sahara’ Mindset That Only Spreads Misery And Stretches Finances

Giving birth to a line of girls, or breaking the law with female foeticide... there are so many things we do as a society just to have that one son who is considered the budhape ka sahara.

Giving birth to a line of girls, or breaking the law with female foeticide… there are so many things we do as a society just to have that one son who is considered the budhape ka sahara.

Have you ever noticed that there are some people in every family who wanted a male child so much that they gave birth to many girls in the need of a boy?

Well, there is one such couple in our extended family as well. I never thought about them seriously until a few days ago when they visited us.

They came and asked for financial help and my father helped them like he always does. However, one thing about them caught my attention and hence I am writing this article taking about such couples.

For the want of a boy

First, let me talk about this family (our extended relatives). They are a family of six, including father, mother, three girl children, and one boy. They have only one earning member in their family, i.e. father, and all others are dependent on him.

This family has a small house of 2 rooms and they are not even financially good enough to support six members. They always struggle financially to meet their basic needs, whether it’s school fees of 4 children, bearing sudden medical emergency in the family, and so on.

Looking at such families make me always wonder, “why do people make their life miserable in the need of a boy”?

This family like many other such families could have a better life if they hadn’t given birth to so many kids.

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They could have managed their finances themselves without asking for financial help from their relatives if they had one or two kids.

Privilege given to the male kid over female kids

Another stupid and heartbreaking thing that I noticed in such families is the privilege given to the male kid over female kids. Their boy (in many cases) studies in a good private school, whereas their girls are studying in government ones with low fees. There are so many sacrifices that the girls make to make their brother’s life better. Often the girls in such families do not get good opportunities (in terms of study, career, relationships, etc.) like their brothers.

All of this, just because their parents wanted a male heir. I feel bad for these girls.

The budhape ki laathi

These parents think that their male kid will take care of them when they will get old. While such thinking was fine in old age (during our grandparents’ era), this is just a stupid thought nowadays.

Girls are leaving their mark in every field. In fact they are doing much better than boys in so many areas. There is no profession where we do not see females nowadays. Even our government is supporting females in so many things.

They can be a doctor, pilot, writer, athlete, journalist, and even an army person. You just give them equal opportunities and see them thrive.

Why do these people still want a budhape ki laathi so much that they make their youth miserable.  Why do these people still think that a girl child is nothing but a burden who will belong to someone else in the future?

Can’t we girls take care of our parents too?

Even the Bombay High Court said in one of its judgement that “a married woman too is responsible for maintaining her parents”.

I am a girl too and I consider it my utmost responsibility to take care of my parents.

I just have a humble request to such parents.

Dear people,

Please don’t think a boy is better than a girl. Please don’t increase population as India is already on number 2 on the list of most populated countries, which is a root cause of so many issues already. Please don’t make your life miserable by giving birth to so many kids in the need of budhape ka sahara.

A girl or a boy, both are equal if they get equal love and opportunities. Remember “hum do hamare do (or even one is enough)” and focus on raising your kids better.

I choose to challenge every couple to consider these things before becoming parents.

Image source: mojzagrebinfo on pixabay

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About the Author

Reshma Rawat

I am on the Women's Web because I believe in gender equality and feminism. Being a writer, I find it a wonderful platform where I can share my thoughts, ideas and views with like- read more...

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