Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
I never thought getting married will put me in so much limelight. Whatever I wear, eat, and do, gives people a chance to judge me!
The irony is that most of these people are female. Patriarchy was invented by men, but is still alive because of some women. We don’t stand for other women, but we love judging them. And judging a married woman is so much fun to many.
There are many times when people irk me with their questions and suggestions. Some do it unknowingly, but most people do it willingly.
There are many such things that I hate to hear being a married woman, but below, I am mentioning only the top 5 on my list.
This question is so common. For many, the only appropriate next step after marriage is having a kid. If I tell them my age, then the question becomes more pestering. If I tell them that we don’t want kids, they think of it as a joke.
Why does marriage have to lead to parenthood ultimately? Can’t a couple live happily without a kid too? Perhaps being a happy childless married couple is beyond their imagination!
Well, I am indeed and so is my husband, as I too can cook. We both believe in equality and partnership. We both work, earn, travel, and even share household responsibilities. When he cooks delicious meals, I make sure to do the dishes and clean the kitchen afterwards. But, who cares? People are accustomed to see only women in the kitchen.
Being far from someone doesn’t mean we don’t know enough about them. I keep in constant contact with them and like all other families, we also face difficulties sometimes. I cannot even talk to my MIL properly because she speaks Bengali and I Hindi. We put in a lot of effort to communicate with each other.
I don’t say anything negative about my in-laws because I understand that we are all different from each other and I respect everyone’s individuality. We are family after all and I can’t drain my energy in badmouthing my own family members.
Whenever I buy something, this is the most common comment that I get from many people. I hate to remind them that I earn well too. And even if my husband gifts me something, it’s none of anyone’s business right? We earn, we spend! Whether we spend on ourselves or on each other, how does it affect you in any way?
No vermillion, no bindi, no saree, no makeup! That’s the complete opposite of being a married woman, right? I never liked makeup anyway, but why you want to see bindi and vermillion on my head? Because that’s what you do too, right?
I don’t mind if you load yourself with makeup or jewellery, then why does my being simple bother you so much? It’s okay for men to look the same after marriage, then why do only women have to bear the symbols of marriage or rather, patriarchy?
I don’t bother if you have kids, want to look like a married woman, keep the karwachauth fast, or put on makeup. And I expect the same respect from your end too.
Can we just live and let live?
Image credits Kelly Sikkema via Unsplash
I am on the Women's Web because I believe in gender equality and feminism. Being a writer, I find it a wonderful platform where I can share my thoughts, ideas and views with like- read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Being a writer, Nivedita Louis recognises the struggles of a first-time woman writer and helps many articulate their voice with development, content edits as a publisher.
“I usually write during night”, says author Nivedita Louis during our conversation. Chuckling she continues,” It’s easier then to focus solely on writing. Nivedita Louis is a writer, with varied interests and one of the founders of Her Stories, a feminist publishing house, based in Chennai.
In a candid conversation she shared her journey from small-town Tamil Nadu to becoming a history buff, an award-winning author and now a publisher.
Nivedita was born and raised in a small town in Tamil Nadu. It was for schooling that she first arrived in Chennai. Then known as Madras, she recalls being awed by the city. Her love-story with the city, its people and thus began which continues till date. She credits her perseverance and passion to make a difference to her days as a vocational student among the elite sections of Madras.
Please enter your email address