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The signs are always there, but we refuse to give ourselves the time or courage to see and read the truth of us. We remain between being busy and lost in the comforts of our daily lives
Someone once said “you have the best book with you and you are refusing to even turn a page or read it?” The book is YOU. But you refuse to read it.
And believe it or not, I did stop to read me. Sometimes you don’t know what you want, the search is never ending, exhausting and futile. But how about, you just stop to read and understand what makes you unhappy? What do you not want? Go ahead, and pluck just one weed at a time from the garden of your life.
Just the way we pick a portion of our house to clean, one drawer at a time. Give away one thing that you are not happy doing or not wanting to do. Soon one at a time, but the house will clean, your life and your time free-r and yours to claim.
Everyday as women, we multi task and take on so much more in a day than we can actually even comprehend. As working women today, we are now in a never ending marathon to juggle it all, home, work, kids, social life for us and our families. As housewives, we had a different task and now we are working harder because we are so scared of being judged.
If family is neglected then work is blamed and vice-versa. We are in a race of being super humans even without realising it.
So when are we giving ourselves time to have “me time”? Access what makes us happy? Are we even happy in the relationships that we are in?
Does a relationship need to be oppressive, abusive or submissive, narcissistic or any other extreme for us to stop a moment and think?
I write this to all the women out there, the super moms, super wives, the driven. A lot of who I see just living through their loveless marriages because of society, nowhere to go, and can’t imagine anything else. Complacency or bringing up kids keep some stuck in unhappy marriages.
Stop a moment! feel yourself, we read a lot about self love but the start to that self love comes from stopping to know “thy self”
Why is it necessary to walk out only if extreme circumstances exist? Is it because we feel it’s easier to explain to others? It is our life to live then why is an explanation that is understandable and explainable to others required?
I realised comfortable and complacent is not happiness to me. I want more. Different people different strokes, you could want love, respect. The look. The appreciation, maybe just want to catch him talking like he is in awe of you. Maybe a better sex life. Maybe you want to hold his gaze in a room full of people. Whatever it is that your heart desires, first know it . Then respect it.
It isn’t always important to have a reason to walk away, sometimes you just don’t have a reason to stay! And that’s ok too.
The signs are always there, but we refuse to give ourselves the time or courage to see and read the truth of us. We remain between being busy and lost in the comforts of our daily lives.
27 years of being together, with no fights. Simple, complacent, comfortable. No reason to complain, but fell out of love, outgrowing relationships is a real thing.
To all the young women out there, we read sad stories – brave stories and feel encouraged and brave. But only very few of us walk a step further within to see our truth. And even fewer of those actually take a step to realise their dreams, their potential and unleash themselves to be happy
If it’s enough to say “I love you” to marry then it is just enough to say “I am not happy” and walk away. Life is short and everyone deserves a chance at their happiness with or without explanations.
Image source: a still from short film Ghar ki Murgi
Shikha Poddar a mother & entrepreneur, born and brought up in India is a versatile feminist writer who writes in Hindi and English. She is also known for curating classical music evenings and promoting the read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
If her home and family seem to be impacted by her career then we expect her to prioritize her ‘responsibilities at home as a woman’ and leave her job.
The entrenched patriarchal norms have always perpetuated certain roles and responsibilities as falling specifically in the domain of either men or women. Traditionally, women have been associated with the domestic sphere while men have been considered the bread winner of the household. This division of roles has become so ingrained in our lives that we seldom come to question it. However, while not being questioned does give the system a certain level of legitimacy, it in no way proves its veracity.
This systematic division has resulted in a widely accepted notion whereby the public sphere is demarcated as a men’s zone and the private sphere as belonging to women. Consequently, women are expected to stay at home and manage the household chores while men are supposed to go out and make a living with no interest whatsoever in the running of the household.
This divide is said to be grounded in the intrinsic nature of men and women. Women are believed to be compassionate, affectionate and loving and these supposedly ‘feminine’ qualities make them the right fit for caring roles. Men, on the other hand are allegedly more sturdy, strong and bold and hence, the ones to deal with the ordeals of the outside world.
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