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Women are expected to be nurturing, and their role as caregivers is taken for granted, by everyone. What happens when the caregiver falls ill?
Poorva was burning with fever since morning and couldn’t get up from the bed. She had splitting headache and a bad body ache. It was 7 in the morning and she knew she was not in a condition to get up and do anything.
She woke up her husband Avinash and in a faint voice said, “Please take leave from the office today. I am having fever and not in a condition to do anything today.”
Avinash woke up reluctantly and said, “Okay. Don’t have any choice. Have to manage.” And went out to the kitchen.
Poorva had tears in her eyes. Avinash once didn’t touch her, comfort her, or give her tea, or any medicine for the fever.
Later in the morning, when her mother called her up, Poorva told her mother that she had fever. Poorva’s mother’s first question was, “What are Avinash and the kids going to eat today? It must be so difficult for poor Avinash to manage everything on his own.”
Soon after this, her mother-in-law called Avinash, and when Avinash told her that Poorva had fever and that he had to take a leave, she said, “My beta, how will you manage house work, cooking and kids?” Not once did she ask him to take care of Poorva, or how she was doing.
Whenever I have left my husband and children and gone out for an event or attend to my sick parents, everyone has asked me the same question, “How are the kids and husband going to manage? What are they going to eat?”
My reply always has been, “What if I die today? Even then, they will manage, isn’t it?”
A woman till the end of her life is required to cook and feed the family, no matter what. The over-hyped “Maa ke haath ka khaana”, the picture of the sick mother/ wife/ daughter-in-law cooking has been done to death.
When a woman falls sick, just ask her how’s she doing? The family should take care of the sick woman without any grumpy mood, without any question, or without making her feel that they are doing her a favour. The woman who takes care of you, cooks for you, and raises your kids shouldn’t be neglected.
Here a woman is sick, is tired, is getting old, and all she gets asked is, “What will the family eat?”
Image source: a still from the short film Ghar ki Murgi
I am a travel expert by profession and an avid blogger by passion. Parenting and women's issues are something that are close to my heart and I blog a lot about them. read more...
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"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way any woman in your life sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her.
I have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will. This is the experience of ample women across the globe. The expectation to be thanked for all the sacrifices she makes to keep others happy has faded. Yet the urge to hear few words of acknowledgement always lingers.
There is never a day when she pushes off her own burdens. She knows not to give up on people she loves. Women in general, are givers by nature and hence, give without asking anything in return. They have been the care givers and lovers since centuries however receive no appreciation.
It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
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