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Why should "Is there any Good News?" be the only question a married woman is asked if she seems to have put on even a little weight since marriage?
Why should “Is there any Good News?” be the only question a married woman is asked if she seems to have put on even a little weight since marriage?
“This pink is gorgeous, but a correct fit for me. The green is subtle and a bit loose. Now, which one do I choose?” Holding the salwar kameez sets together Neethu asked Nikhil.
“Wear the green one,” he bluntly replied.
“We are going to your cousin’s reception party. Shouldn’t I look stunning?”
“For the very same reason, please wear the green one.”
“What is it Nikhil? Just spill it please,” Neethu now understood there is something behind the answers from Nikhil. It was not just the color. His expressions and words did not go the same.
“In the pink outfit, your stomach is a bit protruding out,” he managed to speak.
“So?”
“We are married for more than six years. All my relatives will be there. Won’t they think you are pregnant when you actually are not? Don’t shame me in front of them.”
It was then Neethu felt the pressure behind the reality.
In many households, there are plenty like Neethu. After a wedding, if a woman steps out for attending a function, there are unwanted glances piercing at her to check whether she is conceived or not, which in turn gives space to gossip. Sometimes it also continues with comments about visiting hospitals or doctors or so on.
The decision to have a child or not should be of the couple alone. It is totally they who must decide when they need to plan for the same. Just to avoid the unwanted comments from friends or relatives, why should women be pushed into the stress hole of motherhood, if they don’t want to? Not having a child can also be a question of ego for men, but for that, should the woman be burdened with unwanted motherhood?
Also, isn’t it basic freedom to dress how a woman wants? Even dieting or exercising; shouldn’t it be her choice? After all, it is her life, so isn’t she the best person to decide for herself? How does her ‘figure’ or being size zero become a matter of his honour or embarrassment?
For those who actually ask such questions, it is just a conversation that lasts for a few minutes, but can be traumatic to the person who is questioned. It can affect their mental health and affect their normal routine and personal life. It can make them question themselves.
Yes, it is possible to ignore the comments and questions about having a baby, but these interactions can lead to anxiety. We may have come across people who tend to avoid attending functions for the fear of facing people. ‘What if they ask me?’
Aren’t there many other questions to be asked to women like ‘How is your work going on?’, ‘Are you able to maintain work and personal life?’, ‘Do you get you me-time?’, ‘What are your vacation plans?’ And most importantly, ‘How is your health?’
The situation may sometimes be unavoidable, but to face it, both husband and wife need to stay strong in their decision and support each other; after all it is their life. The vows taken during the wedding to trust and protect each other play a major role in these situations, shouldn’t they?
Image source: a still from Hindi short film Methi ke Laddoo
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Neelu might have outwardly forgiven Ramesh, but in her mind, which once was filled with unconditional love for Ramesh, there was now a seed of resentment.
Ramesh’s footsteps paused at the entrance of the hotel’s ballroom. Inside, his school’s reunion party was going in full swing. The air was heavy, as expensive perfumes and the aroma of food from the buffet table, mingled. There were low murmurs, tinkling laughs and clinks of cutlery.
Ramesh had not wanted to come, knowing that she would be there. She, Neelu, who once had been the love of his life. Taking a deep breath, Ramesh entered the room. His eyes found Neelu almost immediately. She still looked the same. Maybe there was now grey in her hair and a few wrinkles on her face. But her vivacity, her mannerisms were still the same. Things, that had first attracted him.
Stop glorifying biological parenthood - other methods of growing a family are just as valid, and completely a couple's choice, especially of the woman whose body goes through pregnancy and birth.
Stop glorifying biological parenthood – other methods of growing a family are just as valid, and completely a couple’s choice, especially of the woman whose body goes through pregnancy and birth.
Trigger Warning: Contains derogatory remarks about having a baby through surrogacy or any means other than giving birth through biological means, and may be triggering, especially to adoptive parents.
Recently Priyanka Chopra Jonas announced parenthood by surrogacy. This has once again sparked the debate about ethical surrogacy, which is a discussion for another day.
Everyone and their aunt thinks they can advise you on having children as soon as you declare your intentions of getting married. Shouldn't it be up to the couple? A short story.
Everyone and their aunt thinks they can advise you on having children as soon as you declare your intentions of getting married. Shouldn’t it be up to the couple? A short story.
She woke up to the constant beeps from her phone. Whatsapp messages wishing Season’s Greetings! were streaming in. Veni opened the ‘Family Group’ to see pictures of her nephews and nieces decked up in colourful clothes. She loved each one of them, and went through the pictures with a smile on her face. It had brightened her ordinary day. Living far away from home, the festival was just another day for her. Her celebrations happen only on the weekend, and the pictures made her feel better.
There was, as usual, plenty of discussion on child-rearing, the kind of advice that veteran family members think is their duty to dispense of, unsolicited. It never failed to amuse her. As she continued to scroll, she saw a message referring to her that said “Veni, all these will be useful to you after you get married.”
As a third-year-old Indian woman, following your own drums when it comes to marriage can mean breaking the hearts of those who love you most - your family. Are you ready to do it?
As a thirty-year-old Indian woman, following your own drums when it comes to marriage can mean breaking the hearts of those who love you most – your family. Are you ready to do it?
My mother called me thrice at eight in the night. Editing an article, I thought something had happened and picked up on the third call. After some small talk about my writing and asking if I was ever going to take up a job, she said she wanted to talk about something.
As a thirty-year-old unmarried woman in India, I recognize this ‘something’, like dogs can sense tsunamis, for at least five years now. This something — without any exception — is marriage.