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Before Telling A Daughter Don’t Do This Or That, Teach Your Sons To Respect Consent

Posted: June 26, 2021

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Humanising women for men must begin in every household. To every family out there, let’s take a moment to educate our boys and men about women and understand them.

Is rape becoming a part of our culture?

Just like COVID- 19 has become a pandemic in a short period, rape has become a pandemic many decades ago, and no medicine has been developed yet against it. If every one of us understands the meaning of ‘consent’ and respects it, then we have laid the way for the cure of this long-lasting pandemic.

Consent is not just about sex

It is not just about the requiring consent for sex. It must start with small things from around us.

How many times are women given the option to say no to do things that they don’t want, right from home? From what to dress, where to go, with whom to go, her life has been directed by people around her to an extent where she has forgotten that she can choose what she wants and say no if she doesn’t want it.

Google says the meaning of consent is “permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.” A woman requires the consent of everyone around her to do every single thing where her consent is of nil value.

The rapist is responsible for rape, not the survivor

Secondly, why, always, are women blamed for their rape? It has become so easy to say it’s your dress that turned me on. She provoked me because she was out late at night.

Babies and women in sarees or burkha have become the victim of this. Fathers have raped a daughter. And still, we hear from people that she shouldn’t have done it, or she invited the trouble herself. Like it has been said many times, before asking a daughter not to do this or that, let’s take a minute to say guys, “don’t rape her!” The focus should now move on to guys, and they should be taught that he shouldn’t even touch a girl without her permission.

No, rape is not about men’s arousal, it is about power

Rape is not about an urge in men. The violence behind rape clearly says iy is about power, and it has become a tool to defeat women. The weakest way of showing men’s strength against women is rape!

I still wonder how any rapist can ever see a woman as a whole. We wouldn’t do something this horrifying to someone that we respect or value, or even consider a fellow human being?

Let’s educate our boys and men

Humanising women for men must begin in every household. To every family out there, let’s take a moment to educate our boys and men about women and understand them. In many families, guys are still not taught what the menstruation cycle is, and what a woman goes through every month, what labour pain is, and how does menopause change a woman mentally and physically.

I don’t say that guys don’t go through puberty related issues and stress it brings. All that I am saying is that if every single aspect that I mentioned above is interpreted as a physical weakness of women rather than trying to understand what it is, violence against women is going to be a never ending problem. If this is understood, at least women would be viewed as a human in every guy’s eyes, and surely he can’t take them for granted!

The fault is in our system

If a father raped his daughter, then isn’t there a flaw in the system which needs to be corrected? Today a rape is viewed as a natural urge of men gone out of control, but it is not. It is a power move.

Sexual violence against anyone irrespective of their caste or religion or age should be treated as a crime and necessary steps should be taken.

Let’s understand that “No means No!”

Image source:  a still from the film 7 Khoon Maaf

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