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All these years they had kept quiet despite knowing that their son-in-law failed to keep their daughter happy, but out of societal fear they could never confront him.
Meera could finally no longer take it. She could no longer fake a happy life with her husband. She was tired of hiding the scars on her body and her soul everyday from the world. She was tired of waiting for her husband to be better. She was tired of getting beaten up and humiliated in front of her scarred and scared children everyday. It had been 15 years and she had lost her youth, her confidence, her trust, her passion for life only because of this one person.
With her few belongings and 2 children, she decided to move to her parents’ house. All these years she had never told her parents about the domestic violence though her parents knew that she was stuck in an unhappy marriage but being the old school parents they did not have the guts to bring her back home. She finally told them about the domestic violence and other emotional abuse that she had to face all these years. Both her children weren’t spared either.
Her husband, Manish, came to her parents’ home 2 days later. Without an iota of remorse or guilt, he ordered them to come home with him. Meera’s parents were present there. All these years they had kept quiet despite knowing that their son-in-law failed to keep their daughter happy, but out of societal fear they could never confront him.
Today Meera’s mother could no longer keep calm and confronted him. She asked him, “Who gave you the right to hit my daughter? How could you do that?”
Without flinching or any remorse, he replied back, “What could have I done? Your daughter would argue with me, instigate me, and I would get enraged and beat her up. It was her fault! I have not just hit her; I have hit my children, as child I used to hit my sister. If they enrage you or go out of control, you need to hit them to discipline them. I haven’t done anything wrong.”
Isn’t this the case with so many women out there? Educated, uneducated, rich, poor, any strata of the society doesn’t matter. Women face domestic and emotional violence for years. They keep silent for the sake of their parents, society, false honour, children (who by the way are the most affected) and continue to tolerate the scars on their body and heart. The men who hit are the ones who have been raised to believe that women are inferior and need to be subjugated. As kids or young adults, they hit and control their sisters and later on wife. They are made to believe that its not their fault but the wife’s fault, just as Manish blamed Meera. Such men never change because they believe they are never wrong!
Meera’s mother decided not to send her daughter back to that hell and to that monster again, but there are many parents who despite knowing everything never bring out their daughters from that hell.
Meera’s mother had decided to break the chain…
Image source: geralt on pixabay
I am a travel expert by profession and an avid blogger by passion. Parenting and women's issues are something that are close to my heart and I blog a lot about them. read more...
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Indian students dream of studying abroad, but these deaths and the racism we feel ask the question - are we travelling there to only lose our lives?
Trigger warning: This speaks of racism and death of Indian students, and may be triggering to survivors.
Today morning while I was on my way to the office, I was scrolling Instagram and immediately my eyes got stuck on a post having the headline, “US Policeman ran over an Indian Student in Seattle”. Jaahnavi Kandula, a 23-year-old Northeast University Graduate student from Andhra Pradesh was struck and killed in January this year by a Seattle cop, Kevin Dave, while driving 74 mph on the way to a report of an overdose call.”
Further, I read that the investigating agency while watching the body-worn camera that captured the whole incident, were laughing and joking about the death and commented that her life had “limited value”. If the deceased had been a US citizen, would they have behaved in the similar way, I feel not?
I struggled to reconcile the two aspects- the formidable talent who literally moulded kathak into its modern form and the man who took advantage of women in his charge.
The noted Kathak exponent Pandit Birju Maharaj passed away two years back. His death affected me greatly because I had just become a student of kathak and the composition we were learning then was one of his. For the next couple of days, I let his baritone voice comfort me while I mourned the fact that I would never see him teach or perform live.
Then the allegations of sexual harassment started coming out, which left me stunned. There was no question of not believing the victims/ survivors. Anyone who understands how power dynamics work knows that the classical music and dance space offers immense scope for sexual abuse. As a woman and as a feminist, I offered nothing less than unconditional support to the women speaking up.
Shattered because realised I would never again be able to truly appreciate a phenomenal talent like him. The almost divine voice which took me to undreamt levels- how could that voice belong to a man who preyed on defenceless women? To me it seemed almost unfair that just when I had learnt to be truly mesmerised by someone, he was taken away twice- once through the death of his physical body, and then through learning about how he acted with women.
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