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It may take a village to raise your children. However, it takes a little less to help them grow into happy kids. Here's how you can do it!
It may take a village to raise your children. However, it takes a little less to help them grow into happy kids. Here’s how you can do it!
Even before a mother conceives, her entire family starts dreaming about the child she will give birth to. Everyone starts building things up in their imagination. And finally, after going through the roller coaster-like journey for nine months, after the excitement of being a ‘mum-to-be,’ you are blessed with a new life. You now have a baby to hold and love.
But does the journey end here? No, this is where the challenge of parenting really begins. Every parent wants to give their best shot at it. They start giving their children healthy meals and start making arrangements for the required things. From finding the best playschool to doing everything they can, parents do all they can to keep their children happy. Most parents often follow the same track.
But do you know what really matters? Before a child steps into school, parents are their first teacher. They will follow everything – the way you talk, walk, eat and basically everything that you do every day. The children are all fast learners and will pick it all up very soon. So first and foremost, the biggest secret is to mark your own actions.
This is followed by good manners, culture and the behaviour you inculcate in your child. It is true what they say, culture comes from family. Only respecting elders at home or behaving politely with them isn’t enough. It is important to behave well with everyone you come across because your child learns to do the same.
The aura of your profession or your grand lifestyle must not impact your child at all. Explain to them at times the efforts it took to get here. Let your child realise the difference and importance of every profession in the community. You are supposed to behave well with everyone – whether it is your house-help, cleaner, guard, the subjiwala bhaiyya, absolutely anyone. Your kid needs to understand that self-respect is important for everyone – even if they don’t demand it.
Routine is yet another key to success. Once your child is accustomed to a daily routine, it will solve most of your problems. Plan the day for them and create a time-table with some balance. Remember – ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!’
Also, it is important to define the tolerance level of deviance in the time-table. Sometimes, you can also use some punishment to cut down some time of their favourite routine to help your child understand the importance of time.
Boost your child’s confidence. They say love your child the way the child is. And it is obviously the best idea. Don’t force your child to do what they aren’t interested in and if it is important, set the right motivation for them by counselling instead of making comparisons. Give them their space to try everything and you will see where their heart really lies.
Praise them for the things they’re good at. If they aren’t doing well in their studies, explain things to them logically and calmly. Tell them to practice more and assure them that they will do better next time. Believe in your children and that will help them grow their confidence.
Reward your child but remember it is also important to say ‘No’ at times. Never bribe your child or fix ‘deals’ with them in exchange for doing their homework or any other work. Do not fulfil each and every demand of theirs and learn to say ‘no,’ if it isn’t important.
In fact, if you reward them unexpectedly on their achievements or good work, it will boost their desire to work better. This will also stop them from being demanding and help them realise that they are being appreciated for their efforts. We all love to be praised for our efforts, don’t we?
It is also important to deal with the resistance of your child when it comes to accepting everything you ask them. Giving them your time might help. Right now, you may think that asking too much from them is not easy – they will react and might not follow. However, there are ways to deal with this resistance.
Start spending ‘only you and me’ time with them. Give them your full attention and keep away your mobiles, TV remotes, newspapers or any other distraction far away.
Talk to them about what they like and where they are facing problems. Try to be more of a friend than a parent. They need you around in whatever they do.
Play, laugh, crack jokes and let them know about some of your failures too and that everyone is not perfect. Praise them and fill them with good thoughts or memories before they go to bed. Ask them about their favourite part of the day. Let them express.
Tell them that they are the best ever gift you’ve had in your lifetime. They will start feeling ten feet tall and you will definitely see a happy and confident child growing in your arms!
Your part is done and the rest lies with them.
Happy Parenting!
Picture credits: shutterstock
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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