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It may take a village to raise your children. However, it takes a little less to help them grow into happy kids. Here's how you can do it!
It may take a village to raise your children. However, it takes a little less to help them grow into happy kids. Here’s how you can do it!
Even before a mother conceives, her entire family starts dreaming about the child she will give birth to. Everyone starts building things up in their imagination. And finally, after going through the roller coaster-like journey for nine months, after the excitement of being a ‘mum-to-be,’ you are blessed with a new life. You now have a baby to hold and love.
But does the journey end here? No, this is where the challenge of parenting really begins. Every parent wants to give their best shot at it. They start giving their children healthy meals and start making arrangements for the required things. From finding the best playschool to doing everything they can, parents do all they can to keep their children happy. Most parents often follow the same track.
But do you know what really matters? Before a child steps into school, parents are their first teacher. They will follow everything – the way you talk, walk, eat and basically everything that you do every day. The children are all fast learners and will pick it all up very soon. So first and foremost, the biggest secret is to mark your own actions.
This is followed by good manners, culture and the behaviour you inculcate in your child. It is true what they say, culture comes from family. Only respecting elders at home or behaving politely with them isn’t enough. It is important to behave well with everyone you come across because your child learns to do the same.
The aura of your profession or your grand lifestyle must not impact your child at all. Explain to them at times the efforts it took to get here. Let your child realise the difference and importance of every profession in the community. You are supposed to behave well with everyone – whether it is your house-help, cleaner, guard, the subjiwala bhaiyya, absolutely anyone. Your kid needs to understand that self-respect is important for everyone – even if they don’t demand it.
Routine is yet another key to success. Once your child is accustomed to a daily routine, it will solve most of your problems. Plan the day for them and create a time-table with some balance. Remember – ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!’
Also, it is important to define the tolerance level of deviance in the time-table. Sometimes, you can also use some punishment to cut down some time of their favourite routine to help your child understand the importance of time.
Boost your child’s confidence. They say love your child the way the child is. And it is obviously the best idea. Don’t force your child to do what they aren’t interested in and if it is important, set the right motivation for them by counselling instead of making comparisons. Give them their space to try everything and you will see where their heart really lies.
Praise them for the things they’re good at. If they aren’t doing well in their studies, explain things to them logically and calmly. Tell them to practice more and assure them that they will do better next time. Believe in your children and that will help them grow their confidence.
Reward your child but remember it is also important to say ‘No’ at times. Never bribe your child or fix ‘deals’ with them in exchange for doing their homework or any other work. Do not fulfil each and every demand of theirs and learn to say ‘no,’ if it isn’t important.
In fact, if you reward them unexpectedly on their achievements or good work, it will boost their desire to work better. This will also stop them from being demanding and help them realise that they are being appreciated for their efforts. We all love to be praised for our efforts, don’t we?
It is also important to deal with the resistance of your child when it comes to accepting everything you ask them. Giving them your time might help. Right now, you may think that asking too much from them is not easy – they will react and might not follow. However, there are ways to deal with this resistance.
Start spending ‘only you and me’ time with them. Give them your full attention and keep away your mobiles, TV remotes, newspapers or any other distraction far away.
Talk to them about what they like and where they are facing problems. Try to be more of a friend than a parent. They need you around in whatever they do.
Play, laugh, crack jokes and let them know about some of your failures too and that everyone is not perfect. Praise them and fill them with good thoughts or memories before they go to bed. Ask them about their favourite part of the day. Let them express.
Tell them that they are the best ever gift you’ve had in your lifetime. They will start feeling ten feet tall and you will definitely see a happy and confident child growing in your arms!
Your part is done and the rest lies with them.
Picture credits: shutterstock
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
You do not have to be perfect. There’s no perfect daughter, perfect employee, perfect wife, or perfect mother. These are just labels created by society, for their convenience.
So here you are, just out of engineering college, having no clue why you pursued Electronics Engineering. Yes, I know, like many others your age, you too were persuaded by your parents to opt for engineering because it supposedly gets you a lucrative job.
Believe me, however strange this might sound, you’ll soon come to realize that a high paying job need not always make you happy. And there are a myriad courses and career options out there, you should definitely consider something that’ll make you look forward to go to work every day.