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Have We Conditioned Men To Be The ‘Stronger’ Ones In Every Relationship?

Posted: April 12, 2021

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Instead of dumping the responsibility of being the strong ones in the relationship, isn’t it time we let the men be a little emotional?

The word ‘father’ often sounds so heavy, that it brings up an image of a person who is the most responsible person in a family. Especially in a patriarchal setup.

But do they have any other choice than being this strong, responsible person? I don’t think so. In most families, a woman can choose not to work and focus on her family. However, men still don’t have that choice, often they are the only ones who have to go out and earn the bread and butter for the family.

No matter what position they hold – whether they are the CEO or clerks in a company, they are almost forced to learn to manage and create some balance. They are almost forced to make sure that they fulfil not just the needs but even the wants of their families at every point in time.

They make sacrifices too

Just like women, even men make sacrifices when they cut short on their own desires to fulfil yours. No, money isn’t always the reason for this but it’s their concern that they have to put their family’s demands first. Ever since they begin earning, they are told to think of fulfiling their family’s wishes before theirs.

They are often okay with wearing the same clothes over and over just because their family wants new clothes. Their kids are always their rockstars and shouldn’t have to miss out on anything that they want to play or use for their education. The man is what he is because of his parents and tries to fulfil every single want of theirs and loves them equally.

Due to the patriarchal society, men are expected to constantly be the strong ones. However, there exists a human heart inside them too. As soon as they become dads, they often stop being kids themselves. They either become very mature or society expects them to behave in that manner.

Let’s learn to cope together

Now, they have to keep their ears open to the constant grumbling at home, after long days at work. They learn to be calm while handling the most difficult situations and keep pushing their own limits. Due to societal expectations, they can’t express their feeling and have to appear to be strong and emotionless.

However, this isn’t always right and all men aren’t like we assume them to be. Not all the men you know are as strong as you would expect them to be. Some men may be more emotional than they let on. These men may not let their tears out when they’re sad but they have their own ways of expressing their sadness. They may not pretend ‘to be cool’ but are probably the coolest people you’d ever meet. We cannot really be judgemental of people simply due to their gender.

The ideologies promoted for years need to change and evolve into those that bring balance to society. If we support each other and learn to cope with the situation together, life becomes easy for both people.

I remember reading this line somewhere, ‘If you want to be the queen to your husband, let him be the king.’ Most of our parents haven’t really discriminated between us as kids, so why must we mark the line at a later stage?

Let’s all start pushing our limits!

While women are very proud of what their husbands do, I believe, the husbands also need to be proud of their wife’s professions. Today, most women are standing on their own feet instead of being called the wives of rich men. However, we don’t just need men to vacate seats for senior citizens or pregnant women. We don’t need them to pay our bills! As women of the 21st century who are just as educated and independent, we can do that too.

Since childhood, men are taught to be protective of their families but the least we can do is help them by doing our own tasks and pushing our limits.

Instead of asking for equality, we need to start to establish it on our own. If we want our decisions to our own, we need to take charge! Let everyone be their own person irrespective of their gender. Instead of creating certain rules and standards for genders, just let them be.

After all, we are all humans, the prince and princess to our parents, and finally, we are just humans at heart.

A version of this was first published here.

Picture credits: Photo by Laura Garcia from Pexels

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