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We all travel the road of life that has death on its other side. It is the how and when that makes a difference.
It is not easy for me to talk about it. Maybe, not for others either, the ones who have witnessed losing their loved ones to terminal illness. But, if sharing our experiences can bring comfort to another person suffering, then we can at least try.
Trust me! When your loved one is lying in the operation theatre, nothing is more painful than hearing the doctor say, “It’s cancer.” The first thought is that, ‘everything is gone!’ You were living an exciting and colourful life with them, and suddenly, an evil eye prevailed with darkness.
The cancer statistics are shocking. It might seem like nothing when I say every 1 out of 3 women develop cancer. You’ll imagine yourself as the ones who aren’t affected. I don’t want to scare you, but it is important to understand that we, or our loved ones, can be the one who gets cancer.
The ones who have seen their dear ones suffer know how scary it is. They will never want anyone to suffer the same way. The question I am asking is rather old, yet I am forced to ask it: Why has medical science not found a permanent cure for cancer and other terminal diseases?
The answer to this matters very deeply to a person like me who has already witnessed the disease, first hand.
I am not a medical expert. I am not the right person to explain when and how the disease occurs, and what can be done to avoid it. Plenty of information is available on the internet, but we don’t bother till we are already suffering.
The fear of losing the one you love, makes you search the internet relentlessly. You don’t want to miss any information that could give you a ray of hope. All of it is available just a click away.
I request you to not ignore even a minor oddity in your body. Be it a little pain or simple fever, get it checked immediately.
Women are experts in ignoring this. They take care of everyone in the family, but not their own body. But, please, consult a doctor the moment you feel anything suspicious. It may not stop the disease, but if diagnosed at the right time, it might be cured or will help in having more time with the people you love.
Doctors are known to be the second face of God. Everything that they suggest becomes the savior boat to cross such a deep sea.
We cannot feel the pain that the patient has to bear. But, we stand by the doctor’s treatment choice. We support the flow of chemicals in the patient’s body, including the needles that might have pricked every inch of their body. We hope that all of it will kill the deadly cells causing the disease. Meanwhile, chemotherapy takes away the days left in the life of our loved ones.
Celebrities suffering from cancer go for the best treatments abroad, but ultimately the end does not remain very far from them as well.
The difference between ordinary people and celebrities is that some accept the suffering with the courage to fight. Hairfall is the most common side effect of chemo. Bald scalps are sometimes shown as a style statement to boost the confidence, to keep going.
It really hurts to see such a face. The chemo makes the body hollow from inside. The pain is endless. And, it’s important to keep the patient happy. Prioritise their likes and dislikes over your helplessness. Comfort them. Reassure that everything will be alright soon. Pamper them, and hold them close. Tell them, you’re here for them.
They are in pain. They might seem stubborn and aggressive many times. They feel withdrawn from life as they knew it. They are depressed. Yet, all they need is love, care, and respect. Add quality to their days.
I am running short of words. The ones who have been through this, I hope they understand me. When the time comes to let them go, doctors hint at it. You want to ask God, why me?
It happens so fast that you are forced to accept it even when you can’t. You want to run away from reality. The good memories begin to fade, and you’re haunted by the worst ones.
Everyone tries to explain that death is a part of life, but it isn’t easy to accept. Maybe we sound selfish because we needed that person so much.
Ultimately, we wonder, was it right to let them suffer because we needed them alive? We no longer know the right from the wrong.
We might get stuck but time helps us move forward. The good memories begin to return. We let go of the bitterness that came with loss. We love, care, and share again. We spend quality time with the ones who are still with us.
Life at times teaches us lessons that change us from within, and leave a mark forever!
Image source: pixabay
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I love the beauty with which words tangle with human emotions and start relating to us! For me writing is 'me time' which definitely help me to soak in the reality of Life. Life teaches read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Mostly Normal is a book of innocence, longing, filial love, angst and acceptance, encapsulating a gamut of human emotions within its lightweight edifice. The book touches the human heart and will stay with you.
Some books enthral you till the last page, and then there are those that you stop reading after turning a few pages. Some books are a one-time read, while you carry some books with you long after you have read them. Then, once in a while, a book hits you so close to home that you find it difficult to slot into any category.
I will put Priyadeep Kaur’s Mostly Normal (BookSoul Reads, 2022) in this last bracket.
At a little less than hundred pages, Mostly Normal is a testimony of the power of words to inspire, irrespective of their length.
Most women do not get to live their lives the way they want, on their own terms. So why should they be tied down in their old age?
Every morning, while dropping the kids at the bus stop, I find a grandfather waiting with his granddaughter. I see him again when I fetch the kids. This has been the pattern for the last few years.
He is seen actively participating in his granddaughter’s activities, from morning and evening walks to attending her parent-teachers meeting, sending her for extracurricular activities to even planning her birthday party. He is admired by all. He is appreciated for making himself useful in his old age. People rave that the doting grandfather is doing his duty towards his children and grandchildren. The much-admired grandfather is also a widower, having lost his wife years ago to chronic disease. It’s also to be noted that both his son and daughter-in-law are working parents.
Every day, the onlookers appreciate his sense of duty and dedication. They say that this is how the elderly should keep themselves occupied. They should bring up their grandchildren while their children go off to work.
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