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Most Indian parents don't raise their voice, or don't teach their daughters to raise a voice against abuse. That's where the men and their parents get the guts to run amok.
Most Indian parents don’t raise their voice, or don’t teach their daughters to raise a voice against abuse. That’s where the men and their parents get the guts to run amok.
Radha always came to her parents’ place feeling humiliated and sad. In her 3 years of married life, there wasn’t a single day when she wasn’t belittled and humiliated by her husband and in-laws. Her husband had subjected her to domestic violence too.
The lively and pretty Radha had become dull and lifeless. She had told her parents about this many times, but every time they asked her to “adjust and give in.”
Every time her husband came to her parents’ home to take her away, her parents would treat him with respect, make a variety of dishes for him, and be meek in front of him. Whenever they met her in-laws, they would be subservient and subdued. They would never confront them about why they treated Radha so badly.
Sounds familiar?
How many times do we hear about or see Indian parents confronting their sons-in-law or their daughter’s vicious, greedy, or violent in-laws? Why are they scared or reluctant despite knowing that their daughter is subjected to humiliation and torture day in and day out?
Is it because they are scared that if they confront the son-in-law he would divorce the daughter and then what would the ‘samaj’ (society) say? Is it because they believe once a daughter is married off their responsibilities towards her is over?
Most Indian parents don’t raise their voice, or don’t teach their daughters to raise voice against bad treatment. That’s where the men and their parents get the guts to behave even worse with the women.
How can parents do this? Ironically, the man’s parents keep on supporting their devil of a son but the woman’s parents cannot protect or support their suffering daughter!!
There’s no point in crying or filing case if, God forbid, the woman takes an extreme step. When she does that out of desperation or depression, the husband, in-laws, and her parents are equally responsible.
Indian parents, please wake up! Don’t be bothered about the regressive rituals or society, think about your daughters. Make her strong and be strong yourself.
Have the guts to confront your daughter’s tormentors, don’t let them believe that your daughter has no support and that she has no other place to go. A daughter should have her parents’ unconditional love and support throughout her life.
Stop being scared, look into the eye of the tormentor, and question!
Bring the change…
Image source: a still from the movie A Suitable Girl
I am a travel expert by profession and an avid blogger by passion. Parenting and women's issues are something that are close to my heart and I blog a lot about them. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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