My Marital Or Parental Status Doesn’t Define Me And It Shouldn’t Bother You Either!

Since I got married, people constantly wanted to know when I planned to have kids. Really, it is none of your business, just stop asking me that!

Since I got married, people constantly wanted to know when I planned to have kids. Really, it is none of your business, just stop asking me that!

When I was not married (until the age of 31), the most common question I was asked was, ‘When are you getting married?’

Now that I am 32 and married, the most common question has changed to ‘When will you have kids?’

I don’t understand why most people ask such questions, even when it has nothing to do with them. Why do so many people find it okay to interfere in another person’s life?

They keep giving free advice even when I haven’t asked for it. These people think a woman’s only job is to get married, have kids, and be happy about it.

Well, it’s not! At least not for me.

They give me really odd reasons to have kids right now

Some of my friends tell me how I won’t be able to reproduce if I don’t do it now. Well, there is an option called ‘adoption,‘ if I really want to be a mother and will not be able to reproduce biologically in the future.

Some tell me how life changes after kids. Trust me, I have seen those changes and they are not happy ones (at least for me). Currently, I can’t imagine my life revolving around a kid.

Never miss real stories from India's women.

Register Now

For some others, it is the only reason we get married. I didn’t get married to be a mother. If I wanted, I could have been a mother even without marriage, right? We have a lot of examples of these today.

Some people even tell me that I am not considering my partner’s happiness and taking such a big decision on my own. Well, this is what both my partner and I feel.

Why does my not having kids bother you so much?

Before I got married, I was fed up of telling everyone that marriage wasn’t something I planned on doing any time in the near future. And now, I am tired of answering all of the ‘Is there any good news?” questions.

Well, I do have good news. Here it is, ‘I am happy with my current life!’ If you really wish happiness upon me, isn’t it enough that I am happy?

Through this article, I just wanted people to understand that whether I am married or not or have kids or not, it is none of your business! Please keep your wandering nose to yourself. I was happy when I was unmarried and I am happy now that I am married. In fact, I will be happy whether I have kids or not.

If you are married and have children, congratulations to you! But why does my marital and parental status bother you so much?

Can you mind your own business, please?

To me, marriage and babies aren’t something you do simply because you have reached a certain age. These things are the most important decisions of your life and need to be taken only when you are ready for them.

I am lucky to have parents who never bothered me too much about my marriage or children. They just want me to be happy in all situations. Then why do some acquaintances and even some friends want me to have kids?

I really don’t understand this! Do they want their kids to marry mine in the future? Or are they so irritated with my carefree life and happiness that they want me to be just like them?

Whatever the reason is, dear people, please just mind your own life.

I hope you all stop asking me that question now

When I was single, all my married friends wanted me to get married and now all my friends who are parents pester me to have kids! Why is that so? Just because you did it, doesn’t mean I want to do it too.

I am not ready to have kids right now and I really don’t know if I would want to be a mother in the future either. All I wanted to say to these well-wishers (at they pretend to be), I am happy with my life and my parents.

If I do plan to have kids in the future, I won’t do it because you want me to or because I crossed 30. I just hope, after reading this, you won’t ask me again, ‘When are you planning to have a baby?’


An irritated 32 year-old-married woman without a kid.

Picture credits: Dice Media’s series What The Folks on YouTube

Liked This Post?

Get our weekly Relationships Blast - all the best posts on Relationships in one place! Register at Women's Web to get our weekly mailer and never miss out on our events, contests & best reads!    

Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!


About the Author

Reshma Rawat

I love to write and travel. Can't do without these two. I am on Women's Web because I appreciate women and I want them to be heard. This is a wonderful platform where read more...

10 Posts | 18,260 Views

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Women Leaders in Communications Discuss The Responsible 5G Revolution We Need

All Categories