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Since I got married, people constantly wanted to know when I planned to have kids. Really, it is none of your business, just stop asking me that!
When I was not married (until the age of 31), the most common question I was asked was, ‘When are you getting married?’
Now that I am 32 and married, the most common question has changed to ‘When will you have kids?’
I don’t understand why most people ask such questions, even when it has nothing to do with them. Why do so many people find it okay to interfere in another person’s life?
They keep giving free advice even when I haven’t asked for it. These people think a woman’s only job is to get married, have kids, and be happy about it.
Well, it’s not! At least not for me.
Some of my friends tell me how I won’t be able to reproduce if I don’t do it now. Well, there is an option called ‘adoption,‘ if I really want to be a mother and will not be able to reproduce biologically in the future.
Some tell me how life changes after kids. Trust me, I have seen those changes and they are not happy ones (at least for me). Currently, I can’t imagine my life revolving around a kid.
For some others, it is the only reason we get married. I didn’t get married to be a mother. If I wanted, I could have been a mother even without marriage, right? We have a lot of examples of these today.
Some people even tell me that I am not considering my partner’s happiness and taking such a big decision on my own. Well, this is what both my partner and I feel.
Before I got married, I was fed up of telling everyone that marriage wasn’t something I planned on doing any time in the near future. And now, I am tired of answering all of the ‘Is there any good news?” questions.
Well, I do have good news. Here it is, ‘I am happy with my current life!’ If you really wish happiness upon me, isn’t it enough that I am happy?
Through this article, I just wanted people to understand that whether I am married or not or have kids or not, it is none of your business! Please keep your wandering nose to yourself. I was happy when I was unmarried and I am happy now that I am married. In fact, I will be happy whether I have kids or not.
If you are married and have children, congratulations to you! But why does my marital and parental status bother you so much?
To me, marriage and babies aren’t something you do simply because you have reached a certain age. These things are the most important decisions of your life and need to be taken only when you are ready for them.
I am lucky to have parents who never bothered me too much about my marriage or children. They just want me to be happy in all situations. Then why do some acquaintances and even some friends want me to have kids?
I really don’t understand this! Do they want their kids to marry mine in the future? Or are they so irritated with my carefree life and happiness that they want me to be just like them?
Whatever the reason is, dear people, please just mind your own life.
When I was single, all my married friends wanted me to get married and now all my friends who are parents pester me to have kids! Why is that so? Just because you did it, doesn’t mean I want to do it too.
I am not ready to have kids right now and I really don’t know if I would want to be a mother in the future either. All I wanted to say to these well-wishers (at they pretend to be), I am happy with my life and my parents.
If I do plan to have kids in the future, I won’t do it because you want me to or because I crossed 30. I just hope, after reading this, you won’t ask me again, ‘When are you planning to have a baby?’
An irritated 32 year-old-married woman without a kid.
Picture credits: Dice Media’s series What The Folks on YouTube
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Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Tripti Dimri had completely won everyone over with her performance in Bulbbul. so there is a great deal riding on her new Netflix film Qala.
Netflix’ latest release, Qala (2022) is Tripti Dimri’s second collaboration with Anvita Dutt and Clean Slate Filmz after Bulbbul (2020). Her performance was applauded in 2020 with Bulbbul’s character becoming well known in most Indian households.
Thus, the audiences certainly had high expectations from Qala, a film that portrays a protagonist who suffers from schizophrenia and post-traumatic stress disorder, in terms of what Dimri, Dutt and Clean Slate Filmz would together deliver.
Does Qala match up to Bulbbul?
A few Bangalore schools recently did a search of students' bags for mobile phones that are banned inside, and were shocked to find condoms, oral contraceptives, cigarettes, etc.
When schools in Bangalore conducted surprise checks of the bags of students to see if they were bringing cell phones to school, they were in for a nasty surprise.
As this report in the Deccan Herald says, “In addition to cell phones, they found condoms, oral contraceptives, cigarettes, lighters and whiteners in the bags of students of grades 8, 9 and 10. To their credit, the school authorities handled the situation with maturity- instead of suspending the students, they informed the parents and/ or guardians and advised them to seek counselling for their wards.”
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