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Initially, when I separated from my partner, I feigned I was in a happy marriage only to ward off all unwanted people poking their noses in my life.
I just went through a phase, and it made me realize that a woman’s marital status can have more ramifications than what we normally think. And that each ‘status’ comes with a tag based on which society judges the ‘nature’ of such women. And believe me, it takes a lot of courage and strength for single women to live in this world!
A married woman is considered reliable and safe to be with. She can be a best friend and even be introduced to her husband and brought home!
If she is separated, she is considered an evil or sex deprived woman. Letting your husband near her is dangerous. And be even more aware if she is a divorcee! You don’t need to think, you know she’s here to woo your husband. Such woman have to be kept out of your house!
A married woman may or may not be as attractive to everyone, depending on the stature of her husband. However, if she is separated, she is an easy target. Why don’t you try your luck? Oh and if she’s a divorcee, don’t even think about it, she is definitely available!
Yes, I am separated and for the first two years, I was very uneasy and wasn’t even sure if I wanted anyone to know my status or not. Some people did find out about it from other sources and then, they would want to know from the horse’s mouth. They tried a lot of gimmicks to make it public and honestly, it was plain irritating and painful.
There were some men who wanted to be ‘friends’ with me, however, this wasn’t for friendship but for ‘something more than friendship.’ The first thing they would ask was my phone number.
Even though I’d disconnected myself from all sorts of social media, they some times, found my number out from a local SMS or phone call whenever they felt their adrenaline soar. It is alarming that a number of men admit they are vulnerable to sex and a woman’s ‘status‘ which encourages them to get involved in such activities.
Initially, when I separated from my partner, I feigned I was in a happy marriage only to ward off such unwanted men poking their noses in my life and privacy.
But after two years of being in an estranged relationship, I became a little confident about myself. I started admitting that yes, I am separated. Why wouldn’t I admit, I was happy too! At the same time, I still hide behind the curtains as far as communications with the outer world were concerned. I feared being judged.
And now, I feel I am in the third stage – the stage where I fear no one. I am at the stage where I bluntly say, ‘Sorry. I know where you are heading but I have much more to do with life and live a life on my own. And I am not interested in you.’
However, I am not a saint and I admit, that I too, some times, crave the support and love. But I also feel it is okay and human to wish for these things. Today, my priorities have changed and men no longer exist there.
So to all the women who berate women like me, who have a lot on their plates, understand that, ‘Surviving is more important to us that wooing your husbands. Keep them in your pockets and satisfy their lust in whatever way you want so they don’t stray. But if they do stray, kick them out for they don’t deserve you. Whatever you do, change your outlook of blaming every single woman who comes their way, for the woman is not to blame. It is the man!’
To the men out there, ‘Separated or divorced doesn’t mean the woman is available. Stop stooping so low that we only see you as a walking piece of p****. You are the reason why women often hate all of menfolk and look at them with contempt and disgust.’
I’ve seen a lot of good men, who still consider me human and respect me for who I am. And I salute all of them who have stood behind me as a pillar of strength, as true friends, mentors and guides, without an agenda on their minds. At the same time, society will not spare them either. Society will judge and judge them mercilessly!
Anyway, I decided, men or no men, I will live my life! You can judge me or not, nothing will deter me from living my life, my way!
Picture credits: Still from Hindi movie Helicopter Eela
A legal consultant, settled in Sharjah, United Arab Emirates; my first love is and has always been my profession. But apart from drafting legal documents, my equally important other domains include blogging, poetry writing, write- read more...
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Tripti Dimri had completely won everyone over with her performance in Bulbbul. so there is a great deal riding on her new Netflix film Qala.
Netflix’ latest release, Qala (2022) is Tripti Dimri’s second collaboration with Anvita Dutt and Clean Slate Filmz after Bulbbul (2020). Her performance was applauded in 2020 with Bulbbul’s character becoming well known in most Indian households.
Thus, the audiences certainly had high expectations from Qala, a film that portrays a protagonist who suffers from schizophrenia and post-traumatic stress disorder, in terms of what Dimri, Dutt and Clean Slate Filmz would together deliver.
Does Qala match up to Bulbbul?
A few Bangalore schools recently did a search of students' bags for mobile phones that are banned inside, and were shocked to find condoms, oral contraceptives, cigarettes, etc.
When schools in Bangalore conducted surprise checks of the bags of students to see if they were bringing cell phones to school, they were in for a nasty surprise.
As this report in the Deccan Herald says, “In addition to cell phones, they found condoms, oral contraceptives, cigarettes, lighters and whiteners in the bags of students of grades 8, 9 and 10. To their credit, the school authorities handled the situation with maturity- instead of suspending the students, they informed the parents and/ or guardians and advised them to seek counselling for their wards.”
People are, understandably shocked to find out that adolescents in the age group 12 to 15 years are potentially indulging in sexual intercourse. People largely fall into four camps–
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