A witness and the accomplice are offenders. And here we are, a nation full of witnesses and accomplices, to several silent deaths and crimes each day.
One more woman dies a horrific death. Yet another story of crime against women jolts the nation. One more day of candlelight marches and protests. But what for?
Tomorrow will be a usual day. For most of us, life will be back to normal. Except for maybe a small discussion about ‘her’ sorry plight with colleagues and friends.
In a country where 20 women die every day of just one crime (dowry), and thousands of others silently prepare to die, does this one death even count?
And why is there so much furore over culprits punishment? How does it matter, if the culprit is lynched or castrated, hanged or encountered? In a nation full of perpetrators, punishing one is like weeding an apple from a sack full of rotten apples.
A witness and the accomplice are also offenders. And here we are, a nation full of witnesses and accomplices, to so many silent deaths each day.
Because we still don’t let our boys cook for the family, for that’s too petty a job for the man.
We don’t let him wash his dirty stuff, for ‘his‘ dirt is ‘her‘ responsibility.
Because we don’t let him take his sister to the playground, for it’s a boys’ territory.
And because we help our sons finding a ‘fair and beautiful’ bride; as that is a woman’s highest qualification.
Because we tell our sisters and mothers to ‘adjust,’ to bear the burden of relationships while knowing fully well that she is suffering.
Because we resist investing in our daughter’s education. Isn’t marriage the ultimate goal in her life?
Deep in our hearts, we still wish for a son to be born because only a son can carry forward the family lineage and legacy.
We teach our sons to keep ‘her’ under control, for that is manhood.
And teach our daughters to obey their fathers, brothers, and husbands because they are her ‘care-givers.’
Then, when he dominates her, abuses her (physically or emotionally), a part of our society rises in protest.
Protests and punishments may temporarily dissuade someone from committing the crime. But the suppressed emotion (of dominance) will eventually find its vent.
So every time a woman is abused, remember, we are the perpetrators of the crime. We have failed in bringing up our boys right. We have failed in raising our girls as equals.
A version of this was first published here.
Picture credits: Pixabay
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I am a stay-at-home mom, an avid reader and sometimes an impulsive writer.
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