Over the years, your support has made Women’s Web the leading resource for women in India. Now, it is our turn to ask, how can we make this even more useful for you? Please take our short 5 minute questionnaire – your feedback is important to us!
After a woman is married, according to society, the obvious next step for her is to have children. But what if she can't? The author shares her story of infertility
After a woman is married, according to society, the obvious next step for her is to have children. But what if she can’t? The author shares her story of infertility
I had my twins after seven years of marriage and I am ever so grateful to God for answering our prayers. And I thought a lot before writing this post. I want to be honest and I am expressing my raw feelings. Neither am I going to edit this nor do I wish to sugar-coat my words.
As a person who experienced infertility, I ask myself, whether I am happy after having my babies. Yes, I am definitely happy, but I still have the scars due to my infertility.
I am unable to forget and forgive the way this society treats people, especially women, who are yet to have children.
So, what triggered my hurt feelings again? I recently saw a friend and she shared her problem with me. She has been married for nine years and is criticised by her family and society for not having a child. When she told me her problems, I saw myself in her. It was like rubbing an old wound and yes, it still hurts.
I was working full time after marriage and several people said that I was postponing having children for my career growth. It was my choice to work and I don’t think it was wrong. But in my case, it’s not true.
I was bombarded with questions from relatives. While I was initially polite with them, I started answering back when they didn’t stop. And thus, I was labelled egotistical. There even were a few people who told me that I was being punished by God for answering back to the elders.
Then there were also some younger relatives who had children first. Now these people behaved as if they had the right to boss over me and started lecturing about having children. Most of the time, I was strong when I heard all these comments from friends, family, colleagues and even strangers. But there were times when I did break down.
The way this society treats a woman for being childless is very harsh and brutal. It has to change and I don’t know when people will stop interfering in everyone else’s lives.
They fail to understand how they hurt a woman’s feelings. I ignored many of them for the peace of my own mind. And I decided to stay away from negative and toxic people.
I buried my emotions and spent time with few who really cared for me accepted me for who I am. It helped a lot in my journey. They say time heals most of our sorrow. But I have realised that even some scars cause pain.
Some of you might think that I am being immature and it’s time for me to move on. Yes, I am trying, but when I see another woman suffering like I did, it is difficult for me to let it go.
When will the scars of infertility fully disappear? What do you think about this?
Please comment your views.
A version of this was first published here.
Picture credits: Pexels
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
I am a new mom to my little twin princesses.I wish to share about my TTC and IVF journey, twin pregnancy and also my experiences of being a new mother.
My personal blog is read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2 might have had a box office collection of 260 crores INR and entertained Indian audiences, but it's full of problematic stereotypes.
Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2 starts with a scene in which the protagonist, Ruhaan (played by Kartik Aaryan) finds an abandoned pink suitcase in a moving cable car and thinks there was a bomb inside it.
Just then, he sees an unknown person (Kiara Advani) wave and gesture at him to convey that the suitcase was theirs. Ruhaan, with the widest possible smile, says, “Bomb mai bag nahi hai, bomb ka bag hai,” (There isn’t a bomb in the bag, the bag belongs to a bomb).
Who even writes such dialogues in 2022?
Most of us dislike being called aunty because of the problematic meanings attached to it. But isn't it time we accept growing old with grace?
Recently, during one of those deep, thoughtful conversations with my 3 y.o, I ended a sentence with “…like those aunty types.” I quickly clicked my tongue. I changed the topic and did everything in my hands to make her forget those last few words.
I sat down with a cup of coffee and drilled myself about how the phrase ‘aunty-type’ entered my lingo. I have been hearing this word ‘aunty’ a lot these days, because people are addressing me so.
Almost a year ago, I was traveling in a heavily-crowded bus and a college girl asked me “Aunty, can you please hold my bag?” It was the first time and I was first shocked and later offended. Then I thought about why I felt so.