When She Did Not Want To Talk About The Trauma…

At times we just do not feel comfortable sharing our traumatic past. But, it is fine if we choose not to. Alternative therapies can help one heal and lead a happy life.

She never thought she would feel so weak, she never thought she would feel so empty. What had happened in the past was beyond her control but she was capable of fighting. She took up the fight and dealt with the trauma but the only setback in her journey was that she was trying to deal with it alone. She thought she was doing well while in reality she was just ignoring the signs that would lead her to a major problem.

She did not talk about it

But it wasn’t her fault, her past wasn’t her fault and not wanting to tell her story to anyone also wasn’t her fault. The trauma she had been through had killed her so many times she did not want to repeat it in front of anyone. She just did not want to talk about it. 

One day she saw an event and approached me. She wanted just wanted to relax for sometime and chose to attend the workshop. After the workshop was done I told her to wait. Something was definitely off and I felt she needed to talk.

She sat with me saying nothing for the next five minutes while I just sat making my presence felt. After five minutes she said, “I really felt good about the workshop, it gave me an outlet and for the moment I did feel very relaxed but I still don’t want to talk about it. I am Sorry.”

For a moment I did not know what to say because I had no reply to the last part of her sentence. I could not understand why was she apologizing for the way she was feeling. But, I did not want to negate her feelings. I could not say you don’t have to feel sorry. My saying so wasn’t going to help.

“Not going into the past is understandable but where do you want to move from here?”

“I feel like there is a big weight on my shoulders and I am not being able to move, I am not being able to stand. I just want to feel light, I just want to throw that weight away.”

She joined for individual sessions with me. We worked together without talking about anything. We did not discuss her story, we did not discuss her trauma, we just moved towards what she wanted to feel.

Alternative therapies helped

We took help of alternative therapies like :

Dance and Movement Therapy 

Art Therapy

Drama Therapy

Music Therapy

Meditation

Every week she would come for the session and move with me, paint her feelings, sing a song and actively participate in all the activities designed for her. She worked on where she wanted to go. She practiced meditation not only in the session but also for the rest of the week. But most important was that she learnt how important self care is.

She did not share her story but its ok

After 12 sessions I still do not know her story , because it was never needed. She has started smiling again and the drooping shoulders have now straightened up . She walks tall now with her chin up . She cracks jokes she laughs and she moves claiming the whole space.

In the last session she said to me, “I feel light and I can see the light.”

No Matter What Happens , Keep Moving.  

Image Source: YouTube/Dear Zindagi

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